IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The map below is of the town of Garlsdon. A new supermarket (S) is planned for the town. The map shows two possible sites for the supermarket. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

The map below is of the town of Garlsdon. A new supermarket (S) is planned for the town. The map shows two possible sites for the supermarket. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
#town #garlsdon #supermarket #two #sites #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The given map offers insights into two allocated sites for the future supermarket project for the Garlsdon
town
 with a population
about
Change preposition
of about
show examples
 65,000
people
. In
overall
Add an article
an overall
show examples
 view, it is noticeable that the second
site
 has more benefits to walking shoppers
due to
 its
location
 in the
Town
 Centre,
while
 the first
site
 is more suitable for customers with personal vehicles.
According to
 the map, the first
site
 is positioned in the countryside in the
north-west
Correct your spelling
northwest
show examples
 area of the
town
 and has 12 km
proximity
Change preposition
of proximity
show examples
 to the population of Hindon (10,000
people
). Following that,
this
site
 can be accessed via the main road on the north side and by railway on the south. Ultimately, its
location
 makes it possible to claim shoppers from the
Town
 Centre and Gransdon
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
hosts 29.000
people
. Analyzing the second option, the designated
location
 is situated in the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 of the
Town
 Centre and accessible by train from
west
Correct article usage
the west
show examples
 or east sides and by two main roads. It can be observed that the railway could transfer customers from Hindon and Cransdon areas,
while
 the main road on the south-west could potentially attract a population from Bransdon which inhabits 15,000
people
.
Lastly
, the
location
 is ringed by no traffic zone which can be both beneficial and disadvantageous for the future supermarket.
Submitted by 6atb8k on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words town, people, site, location with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "map" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • map
  • town
  • supermarket
  • site
  • overview
  • possible
  • transportation
  • access
  • surrounding
  • facilities
  • population
  • density
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