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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #changes #percentage #people #australia #town #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The two bar
chart
Fix the agreement mistake
charts
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 illustrate the amount of
people
Use synonyms
change
Verb problem
apply
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who were born inside and outside
Australia
Use synonyms
 and lived in three different places from 1995 to 2010.
overall
Linking Words
, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who lived in cities was the highest feature
according
Add the preposition
according to
show examples
 the period given.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in 1995 in cities the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of individuals
were
Correct pronoun usage
who were
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 born in
another countries
Replace the adjective
another country
other countries
show examples
 was higher than the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
peple
Correct your spelling
people
 who
born
Add a missing verb
were born
show examples
 in
Australia
Use synonyms
 by around 10%.
In addition
Linking Words
, there was 40% and around 30% of
people
Use synonyms
 were born outside and humans were born inside
Australia
Use synonyms
 respectively and stayed in Rural areas.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,in towns in 2010
people
Use synonyms
 who
born
Add a missing verb
were born
show examples
 in
Australia
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 more than the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who
born
Add a missing verb
were born
show examples
 outside by around 5%.
Submitted by hafsaalbadi199 on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, australia, percentage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Percentage
  • Demographic
  • Trends
  • Urban areas
  • Rural areas
  • Town
  • Native-born
  • Foreign-born
  • Migration patterns
  • Economic factors
  • Government policies
  • Increase
  • Decrease
  • Steady
  • Peak
  • Trough
  • Time frame
  • Significant changes
  • Distribution
  • Notable
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