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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The graph shows the percentage of UK adolescents following a vegetarian diet. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph shows the percentage of UK adolescents following a vegetarian diet. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line graph gives a proportional representation of youngsters in Europe who
took
Verb problem
ate

There may be a verb use issue here.

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 vegetarian food within a period of sixty years.
Overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it is evident that the total number of participants
were
Change the verb form
was

The verb were does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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 just under 20% with the highest being 15% within the given period. It can be seen that comparisons
made
Verb problem
apply

There may be a verb use issue here.

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were done after every decade from 1970 to the
year
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 2020. Teenagers who adhered to foods devoid of meat and its products rose up from 0.1% in the first to 15% by the
year
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 1980, recording the biggest figure seen. In the
year
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 1990, the proportion dropped
off
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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to about 8% and recorded a steady change to about 5% in the
year
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 2000.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, there was twice an increase by the
year
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 2010 to approximately 12% compared to the previous
year
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the number of young people who ate only fish and vegetables remained constant from 2010 to 2020.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "gives" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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