IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart illustrates the percentage of regular
exercising
Replace the word
exercise
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 in females and males lives in
Austalia
Correct your spelling
Australia
show examples
 in 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen that
women
Use synonyms
 in 5
age
Use synonyms
groups
Use synonyms
 of 6 did exercises more regularly than
men
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
men
Use synonyms
 were the most active in the
Use synonyms
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 15 to 24. In the
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 from 15 to 24
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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more than
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of
men
Use synonyms
 had regular activity, in the next two
age
Use synonyms
groups
Use synonyms
 the percentage fell down
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 10 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in
25
Correct article usage
the 25
show examples
 to 34
group
Use synonyms
 and to approximately 40 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in
35
Correct article usage
the 35
show examples
 to 44
group
Use synonyms
.
Change the punctuation
?
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 Talking about elder
men
Use synonyms
 the number
rised
Correct your spelling
raised
rose
rises
 to 43 per
cent
Use synonyms
 and 45 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in
45
Correct article usage
the 45
show examples
 to 54 and 55 to 64
groups
Use synonyms
 respectively, and the highest point in elder
groups
Use synonyms
 is almost 47 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in
65
Correct article usage
the 65
show examples
 and over
Use synonyms
group
Add an article
the group
show examples
. At the same
time
Add a comma
time,
show examples
women
Use synonyms
 had
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
 picture. Young
women
Use synonyms
 did less sport than
men
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
5 per
cent
Use synonyms
, but in the
group
Use synonyms
 25 to 34
women
Use synonyms
 had more regular exercises than
men
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
almost 7 per
sent
Correct your spelling
cent
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. 53 per
cent
Use synonyms
 of
women
Use synonyms
 starting from 35 to 64 did exercise regularly and only in
elder
Add an article
the elder
an elder
show examples
Use synonyms
group
Add a comma
group,
show examples
 the percentage was 47.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words women, age, groups, men, group, cent with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Percentage
  • Australian men
  • Australian women
  • Age groups
  • Regular physical activity
  • Participated
  • Increased
  • Decreased
  • Proportion
  • Physically active
  • Gender difference
  • Engaged
  • Exercise
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