IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1.5

Some companies and organizations require their employee to wear uniform. What are the advantage and disadvantage of wearing uniform?

#companies #organizations #employee #uniform #advantage
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Colleagues, friends, greetings! I came to Vienna on a
job seeking
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job-seeking
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 visa for
highly
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a highly
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 qualified professional. For about 20 years, I have successfully managed projects and programs carried out for TOP companies with more than 10 thousand people in various fields (education and science, fashion retail, railway and road transport, IT, HRM, Telecom, Agroprom,
Government
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and Government
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. Personal expertise in all areas of project management knowledge,
as well as
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 in business and systems analysis, solution architecture, organizational management, quality management
system
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systems
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 and business process optimization,
strong
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with strong
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 technical background. Experience in organizing the development of IT systems from scratch,
experience
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and experience
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 in creating RMO. I always work for financial results. I will be grateful for reposts and likes. Open to any projects, directions and industries.
Submitted by yarinka13 on

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task achievement
Your text does not follow the structure of an essay and does not address the question about the advantages and disadvantages of wearing uniforms. An effective essay should include an introduction to present the topic, a body paragraph for the advantages, another for the disadvantages, and a conclusion to summarize your points.
coherence
For coherence, ensure your essay flows logically from one point to the next. Each paragraph should focus on a single idea with clear topic sentences. To improve cohesion, use linking words to connect ideas within and across paragraphs.
task achievement
For better task achievement, directly answer the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of wearing a uniform. Make sure to support your points with specific examples or arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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