Write about the following topic: Fewer students are studying science at school and university, favouring more computer based subjects instead. Is this a positive or negative development? What are the reasons for this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

Nowadays,students have a large choice in the industries in which they want to be.
Nevertheless
,the problem is that some subjects are simply not in demand
due to
the large number of people engaged in the same field.
However
,I pounder that every person regardless of competition,should be given a chance to demonstrate their abilities and defend their knowledge.
Currently
Add a comma
Currently,
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more and more people are starting to study
computer
subjects,
therefore
there are fewer and fewer places left to study or work.
According to
this
Add a comma
this,
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we can conclude that
science
is more promising.
Firstly
, studying
science
subjects develops critical thinking and problem-solving skills.
Additionally
, scientific research involves formulating hypotheses,analyzing data, and drawing logical conclusions.
Additionally
, these skills are transferable across a variety of fields and are highly valued in many professions.
Additionally
, many of the Global challenges we face today,
such
as climate change, energy sustainability and public health crises, require scientific understanding and solutions.
Moreover
, by studying
science
, you can contribute to solving these pressing problems and make a positive impact on a global scale. Despite
this
,
computer
science
also
has its benefits,
such
as offering a creative outlet for designing and developing new technologies and applications. It
also
allows you to unleash your creativity in
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
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and software development.
Thus
, the ability to bring innovative ideas to life is a rewarding aspect of studying
computer
science
. In conclusion,I want to say that it is very
wrongly
Change the word
wrong
show examples
that there are fewer people choosing
science
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because it is more essential than a
computer
subject.
Therefore
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
guess
this
is a miserable development
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because every subject and every profession must be taken seriously, and if in some area there are few workers and so on,
then
global problems will begin that will greatly hamper our development.
Submitted by muradismailbayli on

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task achievement
To improve task response, ensure that your essay directly addresses the prompt. Your essay slightly diverts from providing a clear stance on whether the shift towards computer-based subjects is positive or negative. Focus on developing specific arguments to support your viewpoint and ensure that each paragraph contributes to your overall position.
coherence cohesion
Enhance your essay’s coherence by connecting ideas more seamlessly. Use transitions such as 'Moreover', 'In contrast', or 'As a result' to link sentences and paragraphs, maintaining a smooth flow of ideas. This will make your essay more reader-friendly and cohesive.
coherence cohesion
Increase cohesion by developing a clearer structure for your essay. Start with an introduction that clearly states your thesis, followed by body paragraphs that each focus on a specific point supporting your thesis, and conclude with a summary that reinforces your main points. This will strengthen the logical progression of your ideas.

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