Write about the following topic: Fewer students are studying science at school and university, favouring more computer based subjects instead. Is this a positive or negative development? What are the reasons for this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#topic #students #science #school #university #computer #subjects #development

Nowadays,students have a large choice in the industries in which they want to be.

Nevertheless

,the problem is that some subjects are simply not in demand

due to

the large number of people engaged in the same field.

However

,I pounder that every person regardless of competition,should be given a chance to demonstrate their abilities and defend their knowledge.

Currently

Add a comma

Currently,

show examples

more and more people are starting to study

computer

subjects,

therefore

there are fewer and fewer places left to study or work.

According to

this

Add a comma

this,

show examples

we can conclude that

science

is more promising.

Firstly

, studying

science

subjects develops critical thinking and problem-solving skills.

Additionally

, scientific research involves formulating hypotheses,analyzing data, and drawing logical conclusions.

Additionally

, these skills are transferable across a variety of fields and are highly valued in many professions.

Additionally

, many of the Global challenges we face today,

such

as climate change, energy sustainability and public health crises, require scientific understanding and solutions.

Moreover

, by studying

science

, you can contribute to solving these pressing problems and make a positive impact on a global scale. Despite

this

computer

science

also

has its benefits,

such

as offering a creative outlet for designing and developing new technologies and applications. It

also

allows you to unleash your creativity in

problem solving

Add a hyphen

problem-solving

show examples

and software development.

Thus

, the ability to bring innovative ideas to life is a rewarding aspect of studying

computer

science

. In conclusion,I want to say that it is very

wrongly

Change the word

wrong

show examples

that there are fewer people choosing

science

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because it is more essential than a

computer

subject.

Therefore

Change the capitalization

show examples

guess

this

is a miserable development

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because every subject and every profession must be taken seriously, and if in some area there are few workers and so on,

then

global problems will begin that will greatly hamper our development.

Submitted by muradismailbayli on Tue Feb 20 2024

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task achievement

To improve task response, ensure that your essay directly addresses the prompt. Your essay slightly diverts from providing a clear stance on whether the shift towards computer-based subjects is positive or negative. Focus on developing specific arguments to support your viewpoint and ensure that each paragraph contributes to your overall position.

coherence cohesion

Enhance your essay’s coherence by connecting ideas more seamlessly. Use transitions such as 'Moreover', 'In contrast', or 'As a result' to link sentences and paragraphs, maintaining a smooth flow of ideas. This will make your essay more reader-friendly and cohesive.

coherence cohesion

Increase cohesion by developing a clearer structure for your essay. Start with an introduction that clearly states your thesis, followed by body paragraphs that each focus on a specific point supporting your thesis, and conclude with a summary that reinforces your main points. This will strengthen the logical progression of your ideas.

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

286 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some People Think That the Government Should Pay for Health Care and Education, but Others Believe It Is Not the Government’s Responsibility. Discuss Both Views and Give Your Own Opinion.

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many young people today do not spend their weekends or holidays doing activities outdoors in the natural environment, e.g. hiking, mountain climbing. why is this? what can be done to encourage young people to spend more time in the natural environment?

In this technological era, personal information is stored on computers by many companies and organisations. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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