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Band 5

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant Percentage of Australian men and women doing regular physical activity: 2010

#summarise #information #features #comparisons #percentage #australian #men #women #activity
The bar chart shows how many
men
 and women did sports activity in Australia in 2010. Units are measured in percentages.
Overall
,
it is clear that
females
 were dominant in all ages except the young age.
Moreover
, only the older genders did physical activity almost in the same percentages.
Furthermore
, the peak of
men
 was smaller
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 proportion than women. Regarding the young age, males were leaders at 15-24 with 52% compared to 47%of
females
.
However
, the situation changed
in contrast
, ages 25 to 34 and 35-44, women were more active doing regular exercise with 48,9% and 52,5%, respectively.Following
men
 at those ages 42% and 39% ,receptively. The gap between the two genders was quite big, except for old people who are 65 and older. For males and
females
 who were in middle age and for 55-65
females
 again greater by around 10%.
While
 who was at 65 and more
men
 conceded by a small proportion in 2010.
Submitted by ikromovavazbek01 on

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structure
Ensure a clearer, more structured introduction and conclusion. A brief summary of key points in the introduction and a final conclusion can help guide the reader and present your analysis more clearly.
cohesion
Use a variety of linking words to make connections between ideas more apparent and ensure a smoother flow of information throughout your essay.
examples
Give specific examples and data to support your comparison points. This will strengthen your arguments and help the reader to understand the significance of the differences and similarities you are highlighting.
task response
Respond to all parts of the task more fully by ensuring that comparisons are not just noted but analyzed. Discuss why these differences or similarities might exist and what they could indicate about the groups being compared.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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