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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #percentage #water #purposes #six #areas #world #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The 6 bar charts illustrate the amount of
water
Use synonyms
 which is used for several aims in parts of the world like North and South
America
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,
Europe
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,
Africa
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, Central and South East Asia. It can be clearly seen that the most popular way of
water
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usage
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 is agricultural, only
Europe
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 and North
America
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 have other proportions, the smallest amount is used for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
domestic purposes,
while
Linking Words
 industrial
usage
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 varies in every part. In
Asian
Correct article usage
the Asian
show examples
 part, South
America
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 and
Africa
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 the
usage
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 of
water
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 for food production
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 over 3
quaters
Correct your spelling
quarters
,
while
Linking Words
 in North
America
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 and
Use synonyms
Europe
Add a comma
Europe,
show examples
 the proportion is only over 30
percents
Fix the agreement mistake
percent
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. At the same
time
Add a comma
time,
show examples
 the industrial purpose is not popular in
Africa
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 and
Cenral
Correct your spelling
Central
 Asia, it
represented
Add a missing verb
is represented
show examples
 by less than
one tenth
Add a hyphen
one-tenth
show examples
, in South
America
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 and South East Asia the number for it is 10
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 and just over 10
respectivelly
Correct your spelling
respectively
, but in
Europe
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 and North
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America
Add a comma
America,
show examples
 around a half of
water
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 supply is used on factories. The domestic use of
water
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 in
Africa
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 and Asian parts is slightly over 10
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 in North
America
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 and
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Europe
Add a comma
Europe,
show examples
 the proportion is bigger
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 3 and 5
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
respectivelly
Correct your spelling
respectively
. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
South
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America
Add a comma
America,
show examples
 the
usage
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 of
water
Use synonyms
 at home is almost
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one fifth
Add a hyphen
one-fifth
show examples
, which is the biggest proportion than in other areas.
Submitted by dasha.20032854 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words water, america, europe, africa, usage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 4 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • water consumption
  • agricultural, industrial, domestic
  • usage patterns
  • developed vs developing regions
  • irrigation systems
  • climate factors
  • percentage breakdown
  • water management
  • sustainability
  • residential water use
  • efficiency
  • charts comparison
  • water-intensive
  • water scarcity
  • resource allocation
  • desalination
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