IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The chart below shows the global sales of different kinds of digital games from 2000 to 2006.

The chart below shows the global sales of different kinds of digital games from 2000 to 2006.
#sales #kinds #games
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The
given
Verb problem
apply
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bar chart demonstrates the world
sales
Use synonyms
 of various
types
Use synonyms
 of digital
games
Use synonyms
 from 2000 to 2006 . There are four
types
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 of
games
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 in total . Various
types
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 of
games
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 are mobile phone ,online , console and handheld
games
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 . The
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
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which
Correct pronoun usage
whose
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Use synonyms
sale
Fix the agreement mistake
sales
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 steadily increasing and popular
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 handheld
games
Use synonyms
 and there is a constant decrease in the
sales
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 of console
games
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 . Handheld
games
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 are very popular in
whole
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the whole
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 world. So there
in
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is
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an
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a
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 constant rise
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
Use synonyms
Add an article
the sale
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sale
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sales
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in
Change preposition
of
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 these
types
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 of
games
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 from nearly 12
billion
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dollar
Change to a plural noun
dollars
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 to very
near
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nearly
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 18
billion
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dollars
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. The console
games
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Use synonyms
sale
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sales
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 are dropping every year from about 6
billion
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dollars
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 to less than 3
billion
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dollars
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. Both
event
Change to a plural noun
events
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 took place between 2000 to 2006. In the year 2000, there is no
sales
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 of mobile
phone
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phones
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 and online
games
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 .
The online
Correct article usage
Online
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games
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
sale
Fix the agreement mistake
sales
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 started
from
Change preposition
in
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 2001 with a high growth in
sales
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 to 2006 which is more than 9
billion
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dollars
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,
whereas
Linking Words
 mobile phone
games
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Use synonyms
sale
Fix the agreement mistake
sales
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 started from 2002
to
Change preposition
with
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 a growth
inincome
Correct your spelling
in income
 of appropriately around 7
billion
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
 in 2006.
Submitted by akshayashvi07 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, types, games, sale, billion, dollars with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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