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Band 5.5

Some believe job satisfaction is a priority for success and happiness while others think a high salary is much more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#believe #job #satisfaction #priority #success #happiness #salary
In our contemporary society, there is an ongoing debate about whether
job
 satisfaction is the most crucial factor for success, or whether salary must be prioritized
due to
 some grounds. From my perspective, I advocate the view of those who assume that income holds greater significance in
work
 life.
This
 essay will discuss both ideas. On the one hand, feeling pleasure from a
job
 makes a person persist in a
job
 for a long time.
In other words
, individuals get easily exhausted from
work
, especially when they are part of a disinterested field. It cannot be denied that if a person derives great satisfaction from his or her
job
, the quality and productivity of
work
 will increase directly.
Hence
, governments and companies should hire
people
 who have an interest in their sphere.
On the other hand
, as far as some
people
 are concerned, they believe that money is the meaning of life. To be more specific, financial stability provides a perfect platform that
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
people
 live in
this
 modern society. Possessing and earning a great deal of money can make individuals feel comfortable
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
meet basic needs, and pursue personal goals. It paves the way for living in serenity and happiness, too.
Consequently
,
people
 prefer campaigns that give a chance of getting higher salaries, regardless of their satisfaction.
To sum up
,
while
 some are inclined with the viewpoint that receiving a respectable income is more essential,
on the contrary
, others think that
job
 contentment can generate impressive results in the
work
 and career life of
people
.
Submitted by writingbhos on

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introduction
Clearly articulate the introduction by stating your thesis more explicitly. Your introduction should provide a clear roadmap for the reader, indicating your stance and briefly outlining the points that will be discussed.
coherence
Improve logical structuring by ensuring that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. Use cohesive devices effectively, such as linking words and phrases, to guide the reader through your arguments.
evidence
Support your main points with more specific examples. Instead of general statements, provide real-life examples or hypothetical scenarios that illustrate your points more vividly.
conclusion
Strengthen the conclusion by summarizing your key arguments and reinforcing your viewpoint. It should echo the introduction but also provide a sense of closure.
task response
Address the task directly by discussing both views comprehensively before stating your opinion. Ensure that both perspectives are given fair consideration and make your opinion clear throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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