IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

You ordered an item from an online store and it has arrived damaged. Write a letter to the retailer to complain. In the letter: - Explain why you are unhappy - Request a refund - Make arrangements to return the damaged item

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Dear
sr
Capitalize word
Sr
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 or
madam
Capitalize word
Madam
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, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to inform you about the damaged parcel I received. I ordered on black Apple watch latest edition using your online store website. But, when I opened the box I received the glass of the watch
had
Correct pronoun usage
that had
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 scratches on it even though the box was open. I bought
this
Linking Words
 watch to give a gift to my friend whose birthday is coming next week. He is my really close friend. Now, It's only two days left to his birthday. I am extremely unsatisfied with your service. I did not expect
this
Linking Words
 as I have bought many items from your store before.
However
Linking Words
, It does not seem possible to me that there could be a chance of replacement.
Hence
Linking Words
, I want you to please provide a complete refund of my order.
Moreover
Linking Words
, can you please provide me with the details about how can I return the damaged watch? I will drop the package at the designated post too if you want
?
Change the punctuation
.
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 Yours faithfully Saybnazarov Asilbek

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task achievement
For task achievement, ensure to fully address all parts of the prompt. Although your letter mentions the main points, further details could heighten the effectiveness of your complaint and requests. Describe the damage in more detail and express the inconvenience it caused more explicitly. Also, ask more specifically about the refund process and how you should proceed with the return, possibly suggesting a deadline for their response.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, aim for a more structured layout by organizing your letter into clear paragraphs, each dedicated to a specific point. Introduce your complaint, then elaborate on the issue in the next paragraph, followed by your requests (refund and return process). Also, work on sentence connectors and transition phrases to enhance the flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
Check the beginning of your letter for the correct greeting; it should be 'Dear Sir or Madam,'. Review the closing statement too; it's more common and appropriate to use 'Yours sincerely' when the recipient's name is not known. Also, consider revising small typos or grammatical mistakes ('on black Apple watch' should be 'one black Apple Watch') for better presentation.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • I am writing to express my disappointment
  • I regret to inform you that
  • I am dissatisfied with the item I received
  • The item arrived damaged
  • The product is in unsatisfactory condition
  • I expected better quality
  • I would like to request a refund
  • I kindly ask for your assistance in resolving this matter
  • I would appreciate it if you could provide instructions
  • I suggest arranging a pick-up service
  • I expect a prompt response and resolution
  • I hope for a satisfactory outcome
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