IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors who came to the UK for different purposes between 1989 and 2009. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors who came to the UK for different purposes between 1989 and 2009. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
#visitors #uk #purposes #information #features #comparisons
The given line graph illustrates the number of foreign
visitors
 coming to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Great Britain for a variety of goals during a 20-year period since 1989.
It is clear that
 the number of
visitors
 with different goals saw an increase. People who came to the UK to meet friends and relatives experienced a sharp climb between 1989 and 2009 and grew to 7
million
. The next year it had a significant fall and reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
just above 6
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
. Business and
holiday
Fix the agreement mistake
holidays
show examples
 showed almost
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 pattern
staring
Correct your spelling
starting
show examples
 1994 until before 2004 and
then
 they reached the same number of almost 7
million
visitors
. After that business purposes took over and saw a dramatic growth and reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
8
million
visitors
 in 2009. But next year holiday purposes took the lead and
rechead
Correct your spelling
reached
redhead
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 all-time high among other aims to 9
million
visitors
Submitted by zara.nazarahari on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, million with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • overseas visitors
  • trend
  • fluctuations
  • statistics
  • year-on-year comparison
  • peak periods
  • holidaymakers
  • business trips
  • educational tourism
  • significant increase/decrease
  • data interpretation
  • exponential growth
  • steady decline
  • seasonal variation
  • cultural events
  • tourist influx
  • graph analysis
  • quantitative change
What to do next:
Look at other essays: