Most high level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 percent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. To what extent do you agree?
Today’s
world, developing countries need to use Change preposition
In today’s
worker
with Fix the agreement mistake
workers
high
ability or Add an article
the high
a high
specifical
Replace the word
specific
skill
. Obviously, the top level positions are males Fix the agreement mistake
skills
while
others not
agree with Add a missing verb
do not
this
, companies
should give the chance to worker as equal without separated genders. I agree with message
and I will explain the reasons in Add an article
the message
this
essay.
Nowadays, we are seeing a majority of companies
are request
a Change the verb form
are requesting
men
workers only, it possible that the type of companies
relevant to security, hardworking may injured
during Change the verb form
be injured
injure
job
, Correct article usage
the job
for example
, cutting trees work
; they climb the tree to cut a branch, or security grads of building in the night. They believe that the physical body of men
stronger
than Add a missing verb
is stronger
women
and could
handle heavy Wrong verb form
can
work
and long hours work
. Additionally
, the
most Correct article usage
apply
of
Change preposition
apply
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
in
Change preposition
apply
women
do is paperwork in the office like a
secretaries or receptionists which difficult to advance. Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
Moreover
, in some counties
Correct your spelling
countries
the
elderly people believe that females not Correct article usage
apply
needed
Wrong verb form
need
work
after marriages
Fix the agreement mistake
marriage
,
Remove the comma
apply
must
take care of children and do housework Correct word choice
and must
instead
, a role of make
money Wrong verb form
making
to
family Change preposition
apply
by
Change preposition
apply
men
. Hence
, females miss the chance to show their abilities.
On the other hand
, women
and men
should have access to the same professional opportunities and earn equal salaries. Companies
should allow women
to do work
as position as men
without restrict
traditional, sexes or Wrong verb form
restricting
career
like polices, engineering, divers etc., They should be employed Fix the agreement mistake
careers
according
their abilities, qualifications and experience.
Add the preposition
according to
Inconclusion
, it seems some Correct your spelling
In conclusion
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
open
the occupation only Add a missing verb
are open
men
because Change preposition
to men
companies
are concerned safety of women
and the responsibility of jobs. However
, career success depends on individual merit.Submitted by chompoo34888 on
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Coherence & Cohesion
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Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.