Some people think that the government should invest in teaching science rather than in other subjects for a country development and progress. What extent do you agree or disagree?
In
this
essay, I would
shed light on both Wrong verb form
will
if
my views, and Correct your spelling
of
also
my prior view will be explained in the conclusion, In my opinion
Add the comma(s)
opinion,
education
plays a very important role in every individual, every one
should have basic knowledge Replace the word
everyone
on
all subjects so that one can get successful in their life.
Change preposition
of
Firstly
, for a country
to develop education
plays a key role, when each and every child in the country
is provided with proper education
then
the students of the country
can become scientists, doctors and enginners
and can serve the Correct your spelling
engineers
country
for its development.
In my opinion, science
is important but with only science
we can achieve everything we need Add a comma
science,
other
subjects too. Change preposition
in other
For example
, if a scientist wants to develop any product he needs lot
of Change the article
a lot
education
with only science
he cannot make the product, he should have access to maths, general knowledge and social studies combination of all studies only
can make a good product.
Rephrase
apply
However
, if the government wants to invest only on
Change preposition
in
science
that would be a great draw back
for the Correct your spelling
drawback
country
because, the country
should also
have millitrary
forces, doctors and Correct your spelling
military
enginners
too. With the help of all the Correct your spelling
engineers
edcational
Correct your spelling
educational
studies
only a Add a comma
studies,
country
can be developed.
Therefore
, I would say science
plays
an important role ever since there are other subjects too which are important I prefer not to support Wrong verb form
has played
government
on the Add an article
the government
dissicion
they are making to support Correct your spelling
decision
science
.Submitted by bollevenkatesh9 on
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task achievement
Your essay covers the topic broadly but lacks specific examples and depth in argumentation. To improve, focus on including more detailed examples from real life or hypothetical situations that directly support your points. This not only demonstrates your understanding but also makes your argument more convincing.
coherence cohesion
The overall essay structure could be improved for better coherence. Make sure each paragraph introduces a single main idea, supported by examples or explanations. Use clear paragraph and sentence transitions to guide the reader through your argument smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Although there is an introduction and conclusion, they could be clearer and more engaging. In the introduction, clearly state your thesis and the main points you will discuss. The conclusion should succinctly summarize the main points and restate your position in a compelling way. Avoid introducing new ideas in the conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.