IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

You ordered an item from an online store and it has arrived damaged. Write a letter to the retailor to complain. In the letter. -Explain why are you unhappy. -request a refund. -make arrangements to return the damaged item.

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Dear Sir or Madam, The reason why I am addressing you is that, I want to ask you to return my money in light of the
item
Use synonyms
 was damaged. I
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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ordered it
in
Change preposition
apply
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two days ago.
First
Add a comma
First,
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 in line, I am Boymurod Kadirov, about one week ago, I am writing to express my disappointment. I
am
Unnecessary verb
apply
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received the
item
Use synonyms
was
Correct pronoun usage
which was
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 damaged so I am dissatisfied
from
Change preposition
with
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 your store. I am going to return the damaged
item
Use synonyms
. If you want, you will give me that
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
item
Use synonyms
 as
identical
Add an article
the identical
an identical
show examples
item
Use synonyms
. I would like to request a refund, I
payed
Correct your spelling
paid
show examples
 $25 for
Use synonyms
item
Add an article
the item
an item
show examples
. It is you
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 should pay
that
Correct word choice
and
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 give back to me. If you do not pay back to me, I will give you to
police
Correct article usage
the police
show examples
.
Then
Linking Words
 the police will take back
money
Correct article usage
the money
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
me
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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from you. I am going to return
this
Linking Words
item
Use synonyms
 in light
of
Change preposition
that
show examples
 it
was
Verb problem
did
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 not
looked
Wrong verb form
look
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 terrific.
Then
Linking Words
, I
known
Wrong verb form
knew
show examples
 that was damaged. I will send
back
Correct pronoun usage
it back
show examples
 to your store and you should pay back my money. I am looking forward to good results. Yours faithfully, Boymurod Kadirov.

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coherence cohesion
Firstly, it is crucial to organize your letter logically. Your letter should start with a clear introduction explaining the purpose of your communication, followed by a body where each paragraph discusses a single idea—your disappointment, request for a refund, and arrangements for the item's return. Finally, conclude with a polite closing statement.
coherence cohesion
Use paragraphs effectively - one for each new idea. This will help make your letter clearer and easier to follow.
task achievement
Ensure that your letter addresses all parts of the task. You should clearly state that you are unhappy because the item arrived damaged, specifically request a refund, and give details on how you plan to return the damaged item.
task achievement
Adopt a suitable tone for formal writing. Avoid threats or informal language. Instead, use polite and respectful language to express your dissatisfaction and requests, which is more appropriate for a formal letter to a retailer.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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