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Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

information such as hobbies and interest and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your opinion Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

#information #hobbies #interest #people
Nowdays
Correct the word
Nowadays
show examples
 is too important to know a lot of information about someone. So
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, in many cases is very important
have
Add the particle
to have
show examples
 dates with
people
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 have things in common.
Thus
, the information is very useful and the topics more relevant are hobbies,
interest
Fix the agreement mistake
interests
show examples
, tastes and music.
In addition
, when
people
 search
dates
Change preposition
for dates
show examples
 these topics are important for don't spend time with them.
In contrast
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, some
people
 prefer to know all
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the date or after many.
Also
,
other
Change the wording
another
show examples
 topic important is
if
Correct word choice
whether
show examples
people
 are married or single, the majority like
people
 single but, in a local survey some
people
 prefer married
may
Verb problem
apply
show examples
be because there are more risks. In my
case
Add a comma
case,
show examples
 I
prefer
Add the particle
prefer to
show examples
 search
people
Change preposition
for people
show examples
 with the same tastes or
interest
Fix the agreement mistake
interests
show examples
 because I'll enjoy
sharing
Verb problem
spending
show examples
 time and know places without problems.
To sum up
, in both ways there are advantages and
desadvantages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
, if you like to know
people
 and don't
lost
Verb problem
waste
show examples
 time first search
hobbies
Change preposition
for hobbies
show examples
 and
interest
Fix the agreement mistake
interests
show examples
about
Change preposition
in
show examples
people
.
On the other hand
, if you prefer to find persons with
diferents
Correct your spelling
different
 tastes the information was a second plane.
Submitted by natalyrau13 on

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structure
Ensure your essay has a clear structure, consisting of an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and be developed coherently.
cohesion
Aim for clarity and precision in expressing your ideas. Make sure each paragraph flows naturally into the next by using appropriate transition words or phrases.
task response
Fully address all parts of the task by discussing both views presented in the question and providing a clear personal opinion. Develop your points further with explanations and specific examples.
lexical resource
Improve lexical resource by varying your vocabulary and avoiding repetition. Use synonyms and more sophisticated expressions where appropriate.
grammar
Check your writing for grammatical errors and improve sentence structure for better readability and professionalism.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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