IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The bar chart below shows the average Australian water consumption in selected cities for last year. The pie chart shows the distribution of Australian water consumption for last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows the average Australian water consumption in selected cities for last year. The pie chart shows the distribution of Australian water consumption for last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #australian #water #consumption #cities #year #distribution #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The bar
chart
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 provides information about the average
water
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 usage of Australian people in different cities over the period of the previous
year
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,
while
Linking Words
 the pie
chart
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 depicts the distribution of Australian
water
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 usage in 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 Perth City had the highest rate of
water
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 use in Australia,
while
Linking Words
 Canberra City consumed the least amount of
water
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last
Linking Words
year
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.
Similarly
Linking Words
, agriculture had the highest ratio among the other utilities.
According to
Linking Words
 the bar
chart
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, it is shown that Perth city consumed about 300
kilolitres
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 of
water
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 over the past
year
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, which was the peak number in the country,
whereas
Linking Words
 Sydney, Adelaide, and Brisbane had slightly different
water
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 consumption between 200 and 250
kilolitres
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, respectively.
However
Linking Words
, Melbourne and Canberra were the two countries with the lowest rate
users
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of users
show examples
. The former consumed 150
kilolitres
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 and the latter used just below 150
kilolitres
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 during the
year
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. Regarding the pie
chart
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, agriculture had the most significant percentage, with 67% of all kinds of distributions.
Househole
Correct your spelling
Household
 was the second reason for
water
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 consumption with 9%,
while
Linking Words
water
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 supply and electricity were in the same ratio
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 7%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, manufacturing and other industries consumed 4% of
water
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,
while
Linking Words
 mining had the lowest percentage of using
water
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, with just 2%.
Submitted by krist_ar03 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, water, year, kilolitres with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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