IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

You are soon going to spend three months doing work experience in an organization. Write a letter to the manager of the organization where you going to do work experience. In your letter. Thank the manager for the oppurnity to do work experience. Explain what you hope to learn from the work experience Ask some questions about the work experience you are going to do.

#three #months #work #organization #manager #oppurnity #hope #questions
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
 letter to express my gratitude for giving me an
oppurnity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
 to gain
work
 experience in your esteemed organization.
This
oppurnity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
 will certainly help in achieving my career goals.
Furthermore
, I hope to learn more about machine learning and artificial intelligence
application
Fix the agreement mistake
applications
show examples
 in
real
Add an article
the real
show examples
 world. The
work
 experience will prove beneficial for me to better understand software systems which are deployed at client
site
Fix the agreement mistake
sites
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. I
am expecting
Wrong verb form
expect
show examples
 that
project
Correct article usage
the project
show examples
 will give me
Correct article usage
the oppurnity
show examples
oppurnity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
 to enhance my skill sets.
Therefore
, I have
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 queries about
work
 experience. Will I be working in a team or as
individual
Add an article
an individual
show examples
 contributor? What will be
project
Correct article usage
the project
show examples
 timings
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
 Will I get
laptop
Add an article
a laptop
the laptop
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 from
company
Correct article usage
the company
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 to
work
 on
cutting edge
Add a hyphen
cutting-edge
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 technologies
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
 Will I
also
 get
completion
Correct article usage
the completion
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 of
certificate
Correct article usage
the certificate
show examples
 for training provided by the company
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
 Can I use
official
Correct article usage
an official
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 email for communication
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
 with office colleagues
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
 I look forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully, Jim
Submitted by yash334 on

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Spelling and Grammar
Ensure you proofread your letter for spelling mistakes (e.g., 'oppurnity' should be 'opportunity') as these errors can impact the reader’s perception of your writing proficiency.
Paragraph Structure
To enhance your letter’s coherence, try to structure it more clearly by including an introductory sentence in every paragraph that outlines the main idea. This helps the reader understand the purpose of each paragraph immediately.
Linking Phrases
In terms of cohesion, using a wider range of linking phrases (besides 'Furthermore' and 'Therefore') can improve the flow of your letter. Experiment with phrases such as 'In addition,' 'Regarding,' or 'Subsequently,' to connect ideas more smoothly.
Task Completion
For task achievement, make sure your questions are concise and directly related to your learning goals. Also, verify that your letter covers all aspects of the prompt: expressing gratitude, stating what you aim to learn, and posing relevant questions.

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