Many people say we should invest more in space industry while others say we should spend that money on other purposes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #space #industry #money #purposes

A number of folks believe that

money

should be invested in production areas as they think it is not only safer but

also

benefits support from authorities.

However

, other individuals claim that there are far more goals gained by spending

money

instead

of investing.

This

essay is in agreement with

this

one and it is demonstrated in three paragraphs below. Investing is an old burning issue which has been argued in several periods. A number of folk claim that industrial situations are suitable for sinking

money

into as they believe production is not only safe but

also

has a chance to develop day by day.

Furthermore

, in many countries,

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

supports the manufacturing system.

However

, relying on industry requires an adequate amount of budget and if,

for example

, a young person who just started working, does not have a chance to put

money

into industrial spaces.

On the other hand

, the majority of individuals prefer to spend

money

on other objects. I am in full accord with

this

opinion since

Change the capitalization

show examples

believe that

although

investing in beneficial areas may ensure the future, there are many goals that would be obtained by

money

For example

, buying a car or a dreamy house.

Money

should be spent on a balanced- routine. Both investing and spending are mandated for a happy life. In conclusion,

While

a plethora of people tend to sink

money

in production and manufacturing since they are sure it is safe and covered by the government, many others, including me, think that even though putting

money

into the industry may guarantee future issues, there are numerous times that could be achieved by spending

money

Submitted by Maral.qanbarii1992 on Sun Mar 03 2024

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Introduction & Conclusion

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Logical Structure

Organize your paragraphs more logically, ensuring each one has a clear main idea supported by relevant explanations or examples. This will enhance the overall coherence and cohesion of your essay.

Specific Examples

Include more specific examples to support your points. General statements need tangible evidence to be convincing. This will also improve your task achievement score by making your arguments clearer and more comprehensive.

Addressing the Prompt

Ensure your essay directly addresses the prompt. Make your stance clear early in the essay and consistently support it throughout. This clarity will improve your task achievement score.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

272 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people say we should invest more in space industry while others say we should spend that money on other purposes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. So, sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

computer and AI technology are increasingly being used for online education Can AI enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development?

In recent years, “responsible tourists” have paid attention to preserving both culture and environment of the places they visit. However, some people say that it is impossible to be a “responsible tourist”. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Group or team activities can teach more important skills for life than those activities which are done alone. Do you agree or disagree?