Many people say we should invest more in space industry while others say we should spend that money on other purposes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #space #industry #money #purposes

A number of folks believe that

money

should be invested in production areas as they think it is not only safer but

also

benefits support from authorities.

However

, other individuals claim that there are far more goals gained by spending

money

instead

of investing.

This

essay is in agreement with

this

one and it is demonstrated in three paragraphs below. Investing is an old burning issue which has been argued in several periods. A number of folk claim that industrial situations are suitable for sinking

money

into as they believe production is not only safe but

also

has a chance to develop day by day.

Furthermore

, in many countries,

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

supports the manufacturing system.

However

, relying on industry requires an adequate amount of budget and if,

for example

, a young person who just started working, does not have a chance to put

money

into industrial spaces.

On the other hand

, the majority of individuals prefer to spend

money

on other objects. I am in full accord with

this

opinion since

Change the capitalization

show examples

believe that

although

investing in beneficial areas may ensure the future, there are many goals that would be obtained by

money

For example

, buying a car or a dreamy house.

Money

should be spent on a balanced- routine. Both investing and spending are mandated for a happy life. In conclusion,

While

a plethora of people tend to sink

money

in production and manufacturing since they are sure it is safe and covered by the government, many others, including me, think that even though putting

money

into the industry may guarantee future issues, there are numerous times that could be achieved by spending

money

Submitted by Maral.qanbarii1992 on Sun Mar 03 2024

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Introduction & Conclusion

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Logical Structure

Organize your paragraphs more logically, ensuring each one has a clear main idea supported by relevant explanations or examples. This will enhance the overall coherence and cohesion of your essay.

Specific Examples

Include more specific examples to support your points. General statements need tangible evidence to be convincing. This will also improve your task achievement score by making your arguments clearer and more comprehensive.

Addressing the Prompt

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

272 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people say we should invest more in space industry while others say we should spend that money on other purposes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Developments in science and technology have caused environmental problems.Some people think that a simpler way of life will protect the environment,whileothers believe that science and technology can solve environmental problems.Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Today, the majority of children are raised by their grandparents due to the fact that their parents are busy working. To what extend do you think it effects the while family?

Some people believe that entertainers are paid too much and their impact on society is negative, while others disagree and believe that they deserve the money that they make because of their positive effects on society. Discuss both opinions and give your own opinion

In some countries, many more people are choosing to live alone nowadays​ ​than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

In some countries, many more people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?