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Writing Samples /
Band 4

You had an appointment with the bank and now you realized that you can't make it for that .write a letter to the manager -Give details about your appointment and dates. -Explain the reason why you cannot make it. -Ask for other dates.

#appointment #bank #manager #-give #dates #-explain #reason #-ask
Dear Mr. Smith, My name is Mohit and I have an upcoming
appointment
 with you regarding my credit card limit. As I already
inform
Wrong verb form
informed
show examples
 you in our previous conversation
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
I want to increase my credit limit and you
schedule
Wrong verb form
scheduled
show examples
a
Change the article
an
show examples
appointment
 on March 7,2024 to discuss my case and check my eligibility. I
am apologize
Change the verb form
apologize
show examples
 that I am unable to make
appointment
Add an article
an appointment
show examples
 on the selected day because I have to attend my
cousin
Change noun form
cousin's
show examples
 sister's marriage on that day. I am
only
Correct article usage
the only
show examples
 brother of my sister and I have to arrange everything for her marriage. I want to request you to transfer my
appointment
 to
other dates
Fix the agreement mistake
another date
show examples
 which you think
suitable
Add a missing verb
is suitable
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 you. I really appreciate it. Once again, sorry to bother you. I am waiting for your response. Please let me know about
other date
Change the wording
another date
other dates
show examples
 of
appointment
. Thank you Your's faithfully Mohit
Submitted by Kamaljeetkaur6968 on

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grammar and accuracy
Ensure to check and correct grammatical errors for a seamless flow of information. Errors such as 'I am apologize' should be 'I apologize' and other minor errors throughout the text can hinder clarity and professionalism.
structure
Consider enhancing the structure of your letter by introducing, detailing, and concluding your request more distinctly to improve logical flow.
coherence
To elevate your letter's coherence, link sentences and ideas more smoothly using transitional phrases or connectors such as 'therefore,' 'as a result,' and 'consequently.' This will guide the reader through your reasoning more clearly.
formality
Augment the level of formality in your closing to match the formal tone of the letter. Instead of 'Your's faithfully,' the correct form is 'Yours faithfully,' followed by your full name.
task response
To better demonstrate task achievement, explicitly mention any preferred or alternate dates for rescheduling the appointment, if possible. This adds to a complete and proactive approach to your request.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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