In many developing countries, there is an increasing movement of workers from rural areas into cities. Why do you think this happen? What problems can this cause.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In most of the underdeveloped nations. We see an increasing trend of
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
from the countryside to the urban
Use synonyms
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
. In my view, there are two main causes of it. One of the primary causes is industrial development in main urban
Use synonyms
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
generating employment opportunities. The other cause is
cities
Use synonyms
have better educational institutes and health care
Use synonyms
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
. Industries in developing countries are mainly found in major
cities
Use synonyms
.
Due to
Linking Words
fact
Correct article usage
the fact
show examples
the rural areas are not
much
Rephrase
very
show examples
developed,
subsequently
Linking Words
, having
lesser
Correct word choice
fewer
show examples
employment opportunities.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, per capita income in
cities
Use synonyms
is way higher than
their
Change preposition
in their
show examples
rural counterparts.
This
Linking Words
unequal distribution attracts people
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
the countryside to move towards the major
cities
Use synonyms
of the country.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
infrastructure
Add an article
the infrastructure
show examples
of
cities
Use synonyms
including transportation
also
Linking Words
got upgraded near the industries to facilitate the workers. One of the other reasons is that the
cities
Use synonyms
have good quality
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
educational facilities. The universities located in urban
Use synonyms
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
are equipped with better infrastructure, teachers and supporting facilities.
Therefore
Linking Words
, every person
desire
Change the verb form
desires
show examples
that his/her child will get
education
Correct article usage
an education
show examples
from the top institutes of the country.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Cities
Use synonyms
have the best hospitals
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
the country. Which
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
citizens feel more secure to live in urban areas.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, rural
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
do not have the
facility
Fix the agreement mistake
facilities
show examples
and equipment to treat some fatal diseases so they transfer their patients towards the big hospitals located in main urban
centers
Use synonyms
.
To conclude
Linking Words
, Countryside people in less developed nations migrate to main
cities
Use synonyms
to have access to employment opportunities and can provide their children with better educational and
health care
Correct your spelling
healthcare
show examples
facilities.
Submitted by SyedSaad776 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Provide a variety of complex sentence structures and aim for consistency in verb tense usage to improve clarity.
task achievement
It's beneficial to include specific examples or data to support your main points; this adds depth and credibility to your essay.
coherence cohesion
While your introduction and conclusion are present, strive for stronger opening sentences and more dynamic concluding remarks to make your essay stand out.
task achievement
Carefully proofread your essay to avoid grammatical errors and ensure that each paragraph develops a single idea fully.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: