the graph below shows in percentage terms the changing patters of domestic access to modern technology in homes in the UK summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main feaures and make comparisons where relevant.

the graph below shows in percentage terms the changing patters of domestic access to modern technology in homes in the UK

summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main feaures and make comparisons where relevant.
The line chart illustrates the variation in local
acess
Correct your spelling
access
to modern technology in
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
in the UK in percentage valves.
Overall
, during the study period of 1996 to 2003, access to all three contemporary technical devices, CD player, mobile
phones
and
home
computers increased ,with a dramatic
rose
Correct your spelling
rise
show examples
in mobile
phones
. Other than that , internet
acess
Correct your spelling
access
also
followed the same trend as mobile
phones
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
1998. In detail,
home
computer and CD player usage increased gradually in the study
periog
Correct your spelling
period
with approximately
20
Correct article usage
a 20
show examples
% hike in
its'
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
access.
However
mobile
phones
Fix the agreement mistake
phone
show examples
acess
Correct your spelling
access
increased significantly
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
nearly 50% during the same time with little fluctuations in the middle but with
a
Change the article
an
show examples
upward trend. In comparison mobile
phones
were used only slightly less than 20% in 1996/1997,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
whereas
home
computers were utilized by nearly 30% in the same year.
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
in 2002/
2003
Add a comma
2003,
show examples
nearly 70% had domestic
acess
Correct your spelling
access
to mobile
phones
while
nearly 55% had a
home
computer.
Submitted by dinaka0001 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
Vocabulary: Replace the words acess, phones, home with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 4 times.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!