Some people think that employers should not care about the way their employees dress, because what matters is the quality of their work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #employers #care #employees #dress #matters #quality #work

Nowadays, there is a common belief that

companies

tend to ignore the

employee

appereance

Correct your spelling

appearance

. In order to create good

employee

, the only aspect that

business

Fix the agreement mistake

businesses

show examples

consider when they score their

employee

quality

Correct article usage

the quality

show examples

of work. Unfortunately, I disagree with

this

statement, because how the

employee

dress can improve their performance and profit for

company

Add an article

the company

show examples

. One main reason that

employee

with good

appereance

Correct your spelling

appearance

can increase their performance is

because

Replace the word

that

show examples

how they get dressed

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can improve their confidence.

This

means that when

employee

Fix the agreement mistake

employees

show examples

get

wrong

Add an article

the wrong

a wrong

show examples

dress in the office, they become the centre of highlight in the office.

Consequently

, their thinking

become

Change the verb form

becomes

show examples

get

Verb problem

apply

show examples

distract

Change the verb form

distracted

show examples

about

Change preposition

show examples

their

appereance

Correct your spelling

appearance

, not focus on their work.

Moreover

, confident

employee

tend to get more trust from their manager than others.

Correct pronoun usage

They

show examples

gain more capabilities because they get more

experince

Correct your spelling

experience

experienced

when doing something in business. The other reason is good

appereance

Correct your spelling

appearance

become

Correct subject-verb agreement

becomes

show examples

added

Add an article

an added

show examples

value

that can boost their

value

Study

Fix the agreement mistake

Studies

show examples

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

shown that

good looking

Add a hyphen

good-looking

show examples

people can get more

salary

Fix the agreement mistake

salaries

show examples

than others.

This

is because they can attract more customer to buy their products.

As a

result

Add a comma

result,

show examples

they can increase their company’s profit.

Furthermore

appereance

Correct your spelling

appearance

also

seem

Change the verb form

seems

show examples

like their

value

companies

. When people buy a product, on some

occasion

Fix the agreement mistake

occasions

show examples

they consider how the

employee

look

Change the verb form

looks

show examples

like.

This

means that customers

wants

Change the verb form

want

show examples

to know how the cleanliness of

companies

when they make a product and

good

Correct article usage

the good

show examples

appereance

Correct your spelling

appearance

Add an article

the employee

an employee

show examples

employee

Fix the agreement mistake

employees

show examples

can be a mirror of

hygien

Correct your spelling

hygiene

part in

companies

. In conclusion,

although

there is a perception in

workplace

Add an article

the workplace

a workplace

show examples

that

empolyee

Correct your spelling

employees

have to show

their

Change the word

the

show examples

quality of work rather than

appereance

Correct your spelling

appearance

, I

belief

Replace the word

believe

show examples

that people with good

appereance

Correct your spelling

appearance

can be

benefial

Correct your spelling

beneficial

for their careers.

This

is because

appereance

Correct your spelling

appearance

can boost their confidence and become

added

Add an article

an added

show examples

value

to them.

Submitted by rifkiw1205 on Thu Mar 07 2024

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structure

Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. State your opinion clearly in the introduction and restate it in the conclusion for better clarity.

argumentation

Work on providing a more balanced view if the essay asks to what extent you agree or disagree. Even if you have a strong opinion, acknowledging the other side can make your argument more comprehensive.

grammar

Check for spelling and grammar errors to improve readability and professionalism. Common mistakes can distract from your message and reduce the essay's overall quality.

language use

Use a variety of sentence structures to make your essay more engaging and showcase your language proficiency. Avoid overly simple sentences when possible.

cohesion

Connect your ideas more clearly using transition words or phrases. This helps guide the reader through your argument and improves the flow of the essay.

evidence

Provide specific examples to support your main points. This strengthens your argument and makes your essay more convincing.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
43Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

289 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

dress code
professional attire
workplace culture
productivity
branding
perception
creativity
equality
bias
discrimination
first impressions
freedom of expression
quality of work
skill set
professionalism
comfort
clientele
stakeholders
competence
formal attire

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Some people think that employers should not care about the way their employees dress, because what matters is the quality of their work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinemas. Others, say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in cinema. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Studies suggest that many teenagers these days prefer socialising online to meeting one another in person. Why do you think this is the case? What measures could be taken to encourage teenagers to spend more time meeting one another in person?

Some people believe that increasing tax on various industries will reduce pollution whereas others believe that there are better alternative ways. Discuss both the view and give your opinion.

Pollution is becoming a major environment problem. what are causes and solutions to solve this problem?

Some people say that History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion?