Some people think that employers should not care about the way their employees dress, because what matters is the quality of their work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, there is a common belief that
companies
tend to ignore the
employee
appereance
Correct your spelling
appearance
. In order to create good
employee
, the only aspect that
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
consider when they score their
employee
is
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
show examples
of work. Unfortunately, I disagree with
this
statement, because how the
employee
dress can improve their performance and profit for
company
Add an article
the company
show examples
. One main reason that
employee
with good
appereance
Correct your spelling
appearance
can increase their performance is
because
Replace the word
that
show examples
how they get dressed
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can improve their confidence.
This
means that when
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
get
wrong
Add an article
the wrong
a wrong
show examples
dress in the office, they become the centre of highlight in the office.
Consequently
, their thinking
become
Change the verb form
becomes
show examples
get
Verb problem
apply
show examples
distract
Change the verb form
distracted
show examples
about
Change preposition
by
show examples
their
appereance
Correct your spelling
appearance
, not focus on their work.
Moreover
, confident
employee
tend to get more trust from their manager than others.
It
Correct pronoun usage
They
show examples
gain more capabilities because they get more
experince
Correct your spelling
experience
experienced
when doing something in business. The other reason is good
appereance
Correct your spelling
appearance
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
show examples
added
Add an article
an added
show examples
value
that can boost their
value
.
Study
Fix the agreement mistake
Studies
show examples
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
shown that
good looking
Add a hyphen
good-looking
show examples
people can get more
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
than others.
This
is because they can attract more customer to buy their products.
As a
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
they can increase their company’s profit.
Furthermore
,
appereance
Correct your spelling
appearance
also
seem
Change the verb form
seems
show examples
like their
value
in
companies
. When people buy a product, on some
occasion
Fix the agreement mistake
occasions
show examples
they consider how the
employee
look
Change the verb form
looks
show examples
like.
This
means that customers
wants
Change the verb form
want
show examples
to know how the cleanliness of
companies
when they make a product and
good
Correct article usage
the good
show examples
appereance
Correct your spelling
appearance
of
Add an article
the employee
an employee
show examples
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
can be a mirror of
hygien
Correct your spelling
hygiene
part in
companies
. In conclusion,
although
there is a perception in
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
a workplace
show examples
that
empolyee
Correct your spelling
employees
have to show
their
Change the word
the
show examples
quality of work rather than
appereance
Correct your spelling
appearance
, I
belief
Replace the word
believe
show examples
that people with good
appereance
Correct your spelling
appearance
can be
benefial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
for their careers.
This
is because
appereance
Correct your spelling
appearance
can boost their confidence and become
added
Add an article
an added
show examples
value
to them.
Submitted by rifkiw1205 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. State your opinion clearly in the introduction and restate it in the conclusion for better clarity.
argumentation
Work on providing a more balanced view if the essay asks to what extent you agree or disagree. Even if you have a strong opinion, acknowledging the other side can make your argument more comprehensive.
grammar
Check for spelling and grammar errors to improve readability and professionalism. Common mistakes can distract from your message and reduce the essay's overall quality.
language use
Use a variety of sentence structures to make your essay more engaging and showcase your language proficiency. Avoid overly simple sentences when possible.
cohesion
Connect your ideas more clearly using transition words or phrases. This helps guide the reader through your argument and improves the flow of the essay.
evidence
Provide specific examples to support your main points. This strengthens your argument and makes your essay more convincing.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • dress code
  • professional attire
  • workplace culture
  • productivity
  • branding
  • perception
  • creativity
  • equality
  • bias
  • discrimination
  • first impressions
  • freedom of expression
  • quality of work
  • skill set
  • professionalism
  • comfort
  • clientele
  • stakeholders
  • competence
  • formal attire
What to do next:
Look at other essays: