People are consuming more and more sugar-based drinks. Why? What can be done to reduce sugary drink consumption?
In
this
contemporary era, more citizens inclined
to Add a missing verb
are inclined
drink
sweetened beverages unprecedentedly. Main
causes of Correct article usage
The main
this
can be considered as addictive
nature of Correct article usage
the addictive
sugar
and worldwide advertisement campaigns using celebrities and well-known sports personnel. This
could lead to numerous health complications. In order to minimize this
government should regulate the beverage industry. This
essay discusses causes
of why sugary Correct article usage
the causes
drinks
are popular and measures to limit the harmful effects.
Overall
, there are many reasons for sugary drink
consumption. Sugar
is a substance which is addictive in nature as per many research. Further
, advertising campaigns used by multinational companies for these products are quite influential and use the most popular celebrities and sports stars. For example
, there was a time when Coca-Cola Kola used Michel Jackson in their advertisement and all Michel
Jackson's followers and fans were inclined to consume Coke. Convenience is another factor. As these Change preposition
of Michel
drinks
are ready to drink
as they are purchased and can be purchased from every corner of the country, consumption of these drinks
can be unconscious. Irrespective of the reason, high usage of sugar
could lead to detrimental health issues such
as non-communicable diseases, canser
and obesity.
In order to minimize the danger of Correct your spelling
cancer
this
phenomenon, most importantly, the Government should regulate the soft drink
industry with limitations to the sucrose content per given quantity. Also
, society should be educated about the repercussions of this
habit. Banners on the consequences of high sugar
intake can be published on vending machines so that unconscious purchases will be reduced.
In conclusion, although
, due to
the smoothing taste and substantial promotions, the popularity of sugar based
Add a hyphen
sugar-based
drinks
are
high, with government intervention and proper communication of health hazards, consumption of it should be minimized Correct subject-verb agreement
is
is
not completely stopped.Unnecessary verb
apply
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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure the essay follows a clear logical structure, presenting your argument, supporting it with relevant examples, and concluding it effectively. You've managed this well, but aim for even tighter cohesion between ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
In your introduction and conclusion, clearly state your thesis and summarize your argument concisely. You’ve done this, but refining your opening and closing statements can make your position even stronger.
Coherence and Cohesion
When introducing main points in your essay, make sure to support them with specific, relevant examples. You’ve included examples, like the Coca-Cola advertisement, but expanding on these with more detailed analysis or additional examples could enhance your argument.
Task Achievement
Address the task directly by answering all parts of the question in a balanced way. You've covered why sugary drinks are popular and suggested measures to reduce their consumption, which matches the task requirement well. For further improvement, consider exploring each aspect with equal depth.
Task Achievement
Clarify your ideas with comprehensive elaboration. You’ve established clear points about the appeal of sugary drinks and potential interventions. To elevate your essay, delve deeper into the implications of these ideas and how they interact.
Task Achievement
Use specific examples to ground your argument in reality. The Michael Jackson Coca-Cola example effectively illustrates the influence of advertising. Continue to use such specific, relevant examples to strengthen your argument across the board.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
