Some people think that schools should stop teaching students using books because students find them boring and believe that children can learn from films, TV, video games, and computers instead. To what extent do you agree?
With the developed technologies for children to
study
, some individuals are of the opinion that teachers should stop students
learning scientific knowledges
from Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
books
due
there are lots of alternatives to encourage young Change preposition
because
students
to study
more via visualised resources such
as videos from the internet, and TV broadcasts. Based on this
viewpoint, I partially agreed with their opinions especially
for younger Add the comma(s)
, especially
students
such
as primary school
students
.
As one of the most important reasons to study
for older students
such
as high school
students
is entering the
Correct article usage
apply
pristigeous
universities, secondary Correct your spelling
prestigious
school
students
should improve their academic scores by comprehending more knowledge within a certian
time Correct your spelling
certain
while
they are still students
. For
this
reason, studying thorugh
Correct your spelling
through
books
can be the
effective way to grasp well-known scientific Correct article usage
an
information
for
Change preposition
apply
them
as they can Correct pronoun usage
apply
study
by themselves with given information
which is already proved
facts from Correct your spelling
proven
relavant
authorised experts to provide the Correct your spelling
relevant
information
to the students
. This
is more likely to link with the acadimic
exam for Correct your spelling
academic
students
to admit big
universities. Change preposition
to big
On the other hand
, younger students
such
as primary school
students
can have more eciting
academic Correct your spelling
exciting
activitieis
with other measures from watching related Correct your spelling
activities
vidoes
and filmsCorrect your spelling
videos
,
and creating something on their computers, and Remove the comma
apply
this
can be beneficial for them to develop thier
Correct your spelling
their
interest
in learning and studying.
Thus
, education regulatory bodies can develop the
new curriculum for younger Correct article usage
a
chileren
to bring more Correct your spelling
children
interest
in studying from them by inculding
visualising Correct your spelling
including
study
resources and participating academic
activities. A salient example of Change preposition
in academic
this
would be that students
can watch some informative videos of the universe which contains
the up to date Correct subject-verb agreement
contain
information
from Nasa to provide them more
accurate Change preposition
with more
information
and foster their curiocities
. Another compelling example may be that teachers educate young people to create new online games Correct your spelling
curiosities
such
as Minecraft to increase their creativities
and confidence which cannot be Replace the word
creativity
deveoped
by Correct your spelling
developed
books
. Hence
, delivering information
to young people with a
diverse Correct article usage
apply
of
methods in the classroom would have advancements especially for younger children to lead Change preposition
apply
in
more Change preposition
to
interest
in studying and developing their study
abilities.
In conclusion, it is undeniable for
Change preposition
that
students
who face the
academic exams Correct article usage
apply
to
go to well-known universities to Fix the infinitive
apply
study
with books
which contains
Change the verb form
contain
exam relevant
sources. Add a hyphen
exam-relevant
However
, I believe that having various studying
ways with watching Verb problem
apply
vedios
and using Correct your spelling
videos
the
computers would be more Correct article usage
apply
benificial
for younger Correct your spelling
beneficial
sutdents
to cultivate Correct your spelling
students
high
level of Add an article
a high
interest
to
Change preposition
in studying
study
.Submitted by yeseulyou92 on
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Introduction and Conclusion
Ensure a clear introduction and conclusion: Your essay has a good structure with clear introductory and concluding paragraphs. Continue to maintain this clarity to effectively signal the beginning and end of your argument.
Logical Structure
Develop a logical structure: You have structured your essay well, with clear separation between paragraphs, supporting your main points. To enhance this, consider adding clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to better guide the reader through your argument.
Supported Main Points
Use examples effectively: You included examples to support your points, such as the use of informative videos and Minecraft for younger students. To strengthen your argument, consider integrating more detailed and specific examples that directly support your main points.
Complete Response
Respond fully to the task: You have addressed the prompt by discussing the advantages of alternative learning methods. To enhance your response further, ensure that you also explore counterarguments to present a more balanced view. This depth will demonstrate a higher level of critical thinking and task response.
Clear & Comprehensive Ideas
Provide clear and comprehensive ideas: Your essay presents clear ideas favoring visualized resources for younger students. To further improve, work on developing these ideas with more depth and nuance. Exploring the implications, pros, and cons in more detail will enrich your argument.
Relevant & Specific Examples
Incorporate more specific and relevant examples: While you provided relevant examples, expanding on them with more specific details or additional, varied examples can enhance your argument's persuasiveness and demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.
