Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#university #students #subjects #addition #time #attention #qualification

It is argued that

students

should focus on their main major

instead

of trying to learn other

subjects

additionally

. In my opinion, I believe the broader intellectual scope, the more opportunities in the future. There are two vital reasons for university

students

to spend their entire time paying attention to their

study

Fix the agreement mistake

studies

show examples

Firstly

, studying

subjects

which are not included in the educational curriculum could divert valuable resources.

For example

, it is nonsensical to take time to practice anatomy

while

majoring in business administration.

Furthermore

, these

subjects

also

make no improvement

for

Change preposition

show examples

doing jobs in their majors.

Secondly

, trying a lot of things at the same time can lead to losing orientation. It is usually described as “jack-of-all-trades, master of none”. Obviously,

Correct word choice

if a

show examples

master-of-none makes no value in the market

then

the consequence of failure is easy to predict.

However

, the benefits of a broader intellectual scope are undeniable. The demands of employers now require more and more highly intellectual

students

to join the market thanks to the development of economics and society. A clear case of

this

is in the field of law, an expert lawyer in mergers and acquisitions will

not

Add a missing verb

have not

show examples

only

need

Verb problem

have

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

understanding

about

Change preposition

show examples

the legal framework but

also

about

Change preposition

show examples

the business strategy.

Moreover

, globalization

also

creates a trend in multidisciplinary coordination that asks for interaction and interdependence between spheres.

Therefore

, it is essential for

students

to arm themselves with transdisciplinary cornerstones for the future. In conclusion, I believe learning a wide range of

subjects

will be crucial for university

students

to be well-prepared to become the future

labor

Change the spelling

labour

show examples

force.

Submitted by ntbang25 on Sun Mar 10 2024

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task achievement

To improve task response, ensure you are fully addressing all parts of the prompt. Add more specific examples to support your opinions and arguments fully.

coherence cohesion

To enhance coherence and cohesion, consider linking your ideas more closely together within and across paragraphs. Use a variety of linking words to create smoother transitions and make your argument flow more seamlessly.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

263 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Broaden
Perspectives
Specialize
Critical thinking
Problem-solving skills
Career success
Interdisciplinary connections
Structured path
Clear goals
Creativity
Innovation
Academic credibility
Recognition
Balance
Exploring

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Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Governments give a lot of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been used elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe famous people's support towards international aid organizations draws the attention to problems, while others think celebrities make the problems less important. Discuss both views and give your opinion. agree = followers, lovers, copy disagree = skip, do not care

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