IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

You have seen an advertisement for part- time job at a restaurant and want to apply for it. Write a letter to the manager. In your letter: -describe your experience. -tell him why you are interested in the job. -say why you think you wojld be suitable for the job.

#advertisement #part- #time #job #restaurant #manager #-describe #-tell #-say #wojld
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
 letter to request
in
Change preposition
that
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 your innovative
restaurant
 has, like advertisement for
part-time
Correct article usage
a part-time
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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job. I want to apply
for working
Change preposition
to work
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 in your
restaurant
. I have been very
hard working
Add a hyphen
hard-working
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, outgoing and fortunate.
Last
 week, I was earlier worked in the "Central Asia"
restaurant
. I was
extremly
Correct your spelling
extremely
 outgoing there is. Shortly saying, I am skilling and
such
 as I am going to
out
Correct your spelling
put
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 together other people. I am feeling different challenges and
responsibility
Fix the agreement mistake
responsibilities
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. I am going to look for lots of money. I am going to
working
Wrong verb form
work
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 choosed in your
restaurant
reason
Correct article usage
the reason
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 why
this
 work
has
Verb problem
is
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 very
comfort
Replace the word
comfortable
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, good and
surpising
Correct your spelling
surprising
.
For example
, it is
seasonal
Correct article usage
a seasonal
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jobs
Fix the agreement mistake
job
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. Average
an
Correct your spelling
and
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 basic wages.
Significiant
Correct your spelling
Significant
resourse
Correct your spelling
resource
this
 I must a lot of money. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 my mother is
serious
Add an article
a serious
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 illness.
Likewise
, I
must
Correct your spelling
just
show examples
 bought a lot of medicines. I
known
Change the form of the verb
know
show examples
this
 works very comfort for me. So, I worked shopping career in a
last
 week. I would be suitable for the job. Especially,
salary
Correct article usage
the salary
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 is very good for me. The most important information is
this
 I known preparing
a lots
Correct the article-noun agreement
a lot
lots
show examples
 of meals. Yours sincerely, Khusan Esomurodov
Submitted by soglomovsarvar on

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task achievement
Focus on developing a clear introduction that specifically states the purpose of your letter. This sets a strong foundation for your letter.
coherence and cohesion
Organize your content into clear paragraphs, each focusing on a single idea related to your experience, interest in the job, and suitability for the position. This will improve clarity and coherence.
task achievement
Use a consistent and appropriate tone throughout your letter. A semi-formal to formal tone is typically expected in job application letters.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph logically flows to the next. You can use transitional phrases to help with this.
coherence and cohesion
Conclude your letter politely and appropriately, thanking the reader for their time and consideration.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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