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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In most sucessful organizations some people believe that communication between managers and workers are the most important factor,other people say that other factors are most important. discuss both views and give your opinion

#sucessful #organizations #people #communication #managers #workers #factor #factors
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In today’s world, there are individuals who maintain the conviction that the link of supervisors and
employees
 through communications plays a vital role
to confirm
Change preposition
in confirming
show examples
 successful organizations. In my assessment, the prevailing trend leans towards other potential elements which pose a crucial part
to be
Verb problem
in
show examples
 significant operations. There are two primary rationales supporting the notion that the interaction between managers and workers is more important.
Firstly
,
connection
Add an article
the connection
a connection
show examples
 between two positions in a
company
 helps
employees
 feel more comfortable and friendly which factors aid them to
work
 effectively under pressure. Managers with agility, congenial and hospitable are able to robust employers' positive emotions,
such
 as Park Jinyoung, who is an administrator of JYP
entertainment
Capitalize word
Entertainment
show examples
 and has competent communication
skills
 that connect apprentices in these co-operations easily and have a successful
company
.
Secondly
,
this
 type of strength
also
 helps them to improve communication
skills
 and
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to having a significant platform involved in relationships. Today,
it is clear that
 it is quite important to confirm successful organizations via communications in different positions.
However
, my inclination aligns with those contending that other types of
skills
 are more essential in most triumphant institutions.
In addition
 to communication
skills
 being advanced
skills
, some corporations just concentrate on
work
 performance because they need a worker to
work
 effectively in a certain time and improve the problems clearly. Another substantial
aspects
Replace the adjective
aspect
show examples
 is having
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 spirit and responsibility In a
company
, various companies focus on the way they
work
 to identify potential
employees
. To be more specific,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
prominent global corporations, by focusing on CV and
work
 experience,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
opt for a school of people who are capable of a wide range of factors.
Moreover
,
this
 way helps them to select good
employees
 in a
company
. In conclusion, notwithstanding arguments advocating for
communications
Fix the agreement mistake
communication
show examples
 between managers and workers, other factors play an indispensable part
to adhere
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the victorious firms.
Submitted by phuongdongct2608 on

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task achievement
Ensure you fully develop your main points by expanding on your examples and explanations. This will solidify your arguments and make your stance clearer to the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Strive for clearer transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs as well. This will improve the flow of your essay and make it easier for readers to follow your line of reasoning.
task achievement
While using examples, make sure they are directly related and well-explained to back up your arguments effectively. Avoid overgeneralizing or vague references, as this may weaken your stance.
general
Be mindful of minor grammatical errors and sentence construction issues; polishing these can significantly enhance the overall clarity and professionalism of your writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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