Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experiences.

Nowadays, many people are convinced that an excessive display of violent
content
in games and TV programs
pose
Correct subject-verb agreement
poses
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a detrimental effect on the public. Other groups of people have
an
Correct article usage
the
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opposite opinion and disagree that violence in the media can significantly influence people’s actions.
This
essay will delineate my perspective on the presence of violence in entertainment and its negative societal impacts.
While
some may consider
the
Correct article usage
apply
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strong images to be the major contributor to someone’s aggressive
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
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, there are plenty of cases where other factors can cause these
behavioral
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behavioural
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changes . One example can be
demonstration
Correct article usage
the demonstration
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of gore
content
in horror games as in Left for Dead. In
this
particular game, players must participate in cold-blooded fights with other dangerous characters in order to survive the zombie apocalypse.
This
game doesn’t encourage assault on real humans since it only trains your survival skills in imaginary situations. Another explanation of some people having prejudices towards the display of blood might be an attempt to shift
a
Correct article usage
the
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blame. It is known that dozens of maniacs and psychopaths were more influenced by their upbringing than shock
content
.
For instance
, the infamous Clown character from the movie IT was based on a real killer from Texas.
This
killer slaughtered more than 90 young men in the costume of Clown and was never a fan of horror or the same genre.
On the contrary
, he was a public figure
that
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who
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enjoyed dressing up and entertaining children with tricks and balloons. During
investigation
Add an article
the investigation
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, it was discovered that he was traumatized by his parents and violent images in the media had little to no effect on his
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
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. In conclusion, many would find strong, violent
content
to be the reason for the presence of increased aggressiveness. I genuinely believe that childhood traumas present more negative impacts on someone's mental health than some R-rated movies and games.
Submitted by 6atb8k on

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task response
Ensure your essay directly addresses the prompt by stating your opinion more clearly in the introduction. While you imply your stance, explicitly stating it will strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Use transitional words and phrases to improve flow between sentences and paragraphs. This will enhance the readability and coherence of your essay.
task response
Expand on your examples by explaining how they specifically support your argument. Providing more detailed contexts will make your examples more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Conclude your essay by summarizing your argument and restating your opinion. This will provide closure and reinforce your stance to the reader.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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