Some people think that outdoor activities are more beneficial for children’s development than playing computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is true that one of the most important issues of today's society are very concerned about is the development of

children

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. The question of whether doing outdoor activities for

children

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's development than playing computer games is a controversial one. From my personal standpoint, I totally agree with the former idea. In the following paragraphs, I

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

give some reasons to support my argument. One of the strongest arguments in

this

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case is that parents should let is their

children

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play

sports

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such

Linking Words

as tennis, football, or any

sports

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that their

children

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interested in at an early age which leads to a comprehensive possibility of them, including physical and mental health.

Therefore

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, those

children

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who take part in playing

sports

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also

Linking Words

have other benefits.

For example

Linking Words

, when kids join

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a football team, they will have opportunities to communicate with their teammates.

Hence

Linking Words

, increasing relationships and learning and exchanging knowledge with each other. Another point to help the convincing level of the statement is that it is undeniable the importance of doing exercise for kids. More specifically, not only do

children

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release sweat

while

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playing

sports

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but they

also

Linking Words

will feel exhausted and desire to apply more food.

Thus

Linking Words

, the

children

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who play

sports

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will have a better body than their peers

due to

Linking Words

the amount of food consumed.

Additionally

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, spending time

Change preposition

apply

show examples

doing outdoor activities

also

Linking Words

helps

children

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avoid addicted to digital advances like laptops, mobile phones, tablets, etc. In short, there are many ways to look at different sides of a matter and there have

also

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been opposite opinions

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show examples

this

Linking Words

particular topic.

However

Linking Words

, the idea that playing outdoor activities

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

more beneficial for

children

Use synonyms

's development is more likely to be agreed with.

aitam.dothi

Mar 13, 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your essay has a good overall structure with clear paragraphs, an introduction, and a conclusion. However, you could improve the logical flow by making clearer connections between your ideas. Consider using more transitional phrases to guide the reader through your argument seamlessly.

task achievement

You've addressed the prompt effectively by taking a clear stance and supporting it with arguments. To enhance your task achievement score, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and is fully developed with detailed examples and explanations. Avoid general statements by incorporating specific, tangible examples to directly tie your arguments back to the question.

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

285 words

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Some people think that outdoor activities are more beneficial for children’s development than playing computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Diagram showing the structure and use of a simple solar panel

some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views give your opinion.

People in your area are having problems with their internet connection. Write a letter to the company which provides the connection. In your letter, describe the problems explain how it is affecting people say what the company should do to help Write at least 150 words.

The crime rate among teenagers has increased dramatically in many countries.

Children today play very violent games. This must be the reason for the increase in violence and crime in most major cities of the world. What are your opinions on this?