Some people think that outdoor activities are more beneficial for children’s development than playing computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is true that one of the most important issues of today's society are very concerned about is the development of

children

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. The question of whether doing outdoor activities for

children

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's development than playing computer games is a controversial one. From my personal standpoint, I totally agree with the former idea. In the following paragraphs, I

would

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will

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give some reasons to support my argument. One of the strongest arguments in

this

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case is that parents should let is their

children

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play

sports

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such

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as tennis, football, or any

sports

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that their

children

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interested in at an early age which leads to a comprehensive possibility of them, including physical and mental health.

Therefore

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, those

children

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who take part in playing

sports

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also

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have other benefits.

For example

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, when kids join

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apply

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a football team, they will have opportunities to communicate with their teammates.

Hence

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, increasing relationships and learning and exchanging knowledge with each other. Another point to help the convincing level of the statement is that it is undeniable the importance of doing exercise for kids. More specifically, not only do

children

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release sweat

while

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playing

sports

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but they

also

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will feel exhausted and desire to apply more food.

Thus

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, the

children

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who play

sports

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will have a better body than their peers

due to

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the amount of food consumed.

Additionally

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, spending time

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apply

show examples

doing outdoor activities

also

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helps

children

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avoid addicted to digital advances like laptops, mobile phones, tablets, etc. In short, there are many ways to look at different sides of a matter and there have

also

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been opposite opinions

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show examples

this

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particular topic.

However

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, the idea that playing outdoor activities

are

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more beneficial for

children

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's development is more likely to be agreed with.

aitam.dothiWed Mar 13 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your essay has a good overall structure with clear paragraphs, an introduction, and a conclusion. However, you could improve the logical flow by making clearer connections between your ideas. Consider using more transitional phrases to guide the reader through your argument seamlessly.

task achievement

You've addressed the prompt effectively by taking a clear stance and supporting it with arguments. To enhance your task achievement score, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and is fully developed with detailed examples and explanations. Avoid general statements by incorporating specific, tangible examples to directly tie your arguments back to the question.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

285 words

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Some people think that outdoor activities are more beneficial for children’s development than playing computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? What are the effects on society?

Nowadays we are producing more and more rubbish. Why do you think this is happening? What can government do to reduce the amount of rubbish produced? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Today more and more people want things instantly (e.g. goods, service, news,…) Why is this? Is it positive or negative development?

Some people think that spoken communication is more powerful than written communication. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Information technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace (e.g. at home, when travelling, etc.). Do the benefits of this mobility outweigh the disadvantages?