According to those in the travel business, the nature of the average 'holiday' is changing. Rather than seeking a relaxing break in a far-away place, people now want exitement on their holidays and are keen to participate in unusual and challenging activities. Do you agree or disagree?
Compared to the past,
people
have different tastes of holiday
nowadays. They prefer doing some particular yet intense activities
rather than just relaxing in the open air. I strongly agree that there is a natural change on
Change preposition
in
people
's holiday
pattern
. A Fix the agreement mistake
patterns
further
explanation will be presented in this
essay.
Firstly
, people
in the past only had limited choices when it came to holiday
because the publicity of tourism spots Fix the agreement mistake
holidays
were
not as much as present time and social media had not developed at that time. So, they chose to have Change the verb form
was
vacation
in Add an article
a vacation
most
practical and realistic way. Correct article usage
the most
For example
, hiking in the fresh air. Although
hiking is still popular these days, it used to be more viral in the past. People
who did not like to climb were opting for hike
as an alternative since they still experienced a similar relaxing break.
Day by day, as Add an article
a hike
the hike
the
technology Correct article usage
apply
getting
more advanced, Wrong verb form
gets
instead
of trapped
in Add a missing verb
being trapped
the
old habits, the communities are willing to seek Correct article usage
apply
for
other thrilling yet adventurous Change preposition
apply
activities
. Moreover
, they like to join the trends. So, they like
find some Add the particle
like to
recommendation
Fix the agreement mistake
recommendations
places
or Change preposition
for places
activities
to do from
their social media. Change preposition
on
For instance
, the new activity they can do based on the recommendation is diving. It gives both relaxing and challenging vibes for those who want to try on
. Diving is not only available for Correct pronoun usage
it on
people
who can swim but those who can not swim also
able to do that since there will be a guide to teach them under the sea.
In conclusion, there is a shift Add a missing verb
are also
of
Change preposition
in
people
's holiday
preference
. One of the Fix the agreement mistake
preferences
reason
for Change to a plural noun
reasons
this
is because
the widespread use of social media so that hidden spots or Correct word choice
apply
activities
are easy to find.Submitted by srsdy008 on
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Overall
Though your essay well addresses the topic, aiming for variety in sentence structure and more sophisticated vocabulary can elevate your argument's impact. Consider using more complex sentence forms and incorporating a wider range of vocabulary related to the theme.
Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence, ensure your essay flows smoothly by linking ideas more effectively. This can be achieved by using a wider range of linking words and phrases to show relationships between ideas, such as contrast, cause and effect, and addition.
Task Achievement
To enhance task achievement, aim to develop your ideas further. While your essay provides relevant examples, deeper analysis and exploration of these examples could strengthen your argument. Additionally, addressing counterarguments could provide a more balanced and comprehensive view.
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