In many countries, it is common for families to own and run their own businesses. Some people think this is the best way to run a business, while others consider this a potential source of problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Globally, there is a constant debate
whether
Change preposition
about whether
show examples
it is more beneficial for relatives to own and operate their
business
. In
this
essay, we will discuss the two opinions before closing with my own point of view. On one hand, family businesses have been always successful.
This
is
due to
the fact that the enterprise will be managed by the owners, which will boost the work's productivity.
Moreover
, in family
businesses
Add a comma
businesses,
show examples
the agency issue will be eliminated as the shareholders are on top of the operations.
On the other hand
, there are other disadvantages
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
building a family
business
.
For instance
,
mostly
Correct your spelling
most of
show examples
the founders of
family
Add an article
the family
show examples
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
fail
in transferring
Change preposition
to transfer
show examples
the
business
to the second generation, which will result in
dissolving
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the
company
in the long run.
Moreover
, corporate governance practices are not usually seen in family companies, which will put the
company
at risk and would not allow for extra funding, as the banks will not be motivated to deal with them.
Thus
, I think that the best mechanism to build a winning
company
is by establishing the entity
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
family members.
However
, once the
business
is operating and on
a solid feet
Correct the article-noun agreement
solid feet
a solid foot
show examples
, the family shall pause expanding the
business
, search for other non-relative shareholders to buy equity, and impose corporate governance policies in the
company
.
This
will not only
esure
Correct your spelling
ensure
succeeding
Replace the word
success
show examples
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
long term
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but will
also
support the
company
in expanding to reach its optimality. In conclusion, founding and conducting
business
by families is
great
Add an article
a great
show examples
source of income, and comes with many advantages. Having said that, there are always disadvantages that
comes
Change the verb form
come
show examples
from sharing a
business
with family members. For family entities to
last
long, they must consider finding shareholders who are not from their family.
Submitted by saud.alshidadi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The essay generally follows a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the organization could be improved by ensuring each paragraph has a clear main idea and is more cohesively linked to the next. Consider using more transitional phrases and topic sentences that guide the reader through your arguments.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt but lacks depth in exploring the views and your opinion. To improve, ensure that each viewpoint (for and against family businesses) is comprehensively discussed with examples or evidence. When presenting your own perspective, elaborate on why you hold that opinion and how it relates to the discussed viewpoints.
task achievement
When discussing complex ideas such as the benefits and drawbacks of family-run businesses, it's helpful to include specific examples or cases to support your points. This adds credibility to your arguments and helps the reader understand your reasoning. Aim for a balance of personal insights and factual evidence throughout your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Nepotism
  • Succession
  • Merit-based
  • Diverse perspectives
  • Professional boundaries
  • External stakeholders
  • Adaptability
  • Innovation
  • Loyalty
  • Generational business
  • Personal investment
  • Aligned values
What to do next:
Look at other essays: