Some people say that parents should places restrictions on the hours their children spend watching TV and playing computer games, and encourage them to spend this time reading books instead. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays plenty of children play games,watch videos and enter Instagram, TikTok, Facebook and
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
bad
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
.
Thus
, their mothers must prevent
this
issue but some people obstruct
to watch
Change the verb form
watching
show examples
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
and it is the best way to bring
up
Correct pronoun usage
it up
show examples
. I totally agree,the reason why, in recent times many teenagers kill time and their
parents
should impede
from
Correct pronoun usage
them from
show examples
entering into the spirit of phones and other gadgets.
In addition
to,
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
play the game or watch
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
and who
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
internet
addict
Fix the agreement mistake
addicts
show examples
, in fact, it is
cause
Add an article
the cause
a cause
show examples
of eye strain and
another problems
Replace the adjective
another problem
other problems
show examples
with
eye
Correct article usage
the eye
show examples
and it is
serious
Correct article usage
a serious
show examples
problem.
Nonetheless
,some teenagers use
telephone
Add an article
the telephone
a telephone
show examples
or other devices to learn something.
For instance
, they utilize it to look up new words or learn languages.
Moreover
, some
parents
disagree with
this
idea and they think that when our
kids
play games, they will be happy.
However
, it is not true,
due to
if
kids
gain knowledge from a young age they will be able to be more successful and if children study well from beginner level
then
they will be intelligent human in the future so now
kids
should study hard.
In addition
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, if mothers want
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
kids
to read books, they must read
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fairy tales
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
before sleep
then
this
practise
Correct your spelling
practice
show examples
kids
may interested in
read
Replace the word
reading
show examples
books.
This
issue is associated with
parents
.
For example
, when fathers buy books, notebooks or interesting pens for their daughters, they are interested in studying.
Nevertheless
, a plethora of adults are glued to the internet and it is a cause of mindless.
Thus
, mothers and fathers must
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
control their
kids
.
To sum up
,
parents
ought to encourage their children to study,
consequently
, it helps to increase their knowledge. In spite of it ,
parents
should inspire them all
time
Correct article usage
the time
show examples
.
Submitted by Shaxnoza on

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coherence cohesion
Focus on structuring your essay more effectively. Start with an introduction where you present the topic and your opinion clearly. Use separate paragraphs for separate ideas, and make sure there is a conclusion that summarises your points.
task achievement
Support your main points with more detailed examples and explanations. Don't just state your opinion; show why it's valid by discussing relevant, concrete examples or citing studies, where possible.
general
Work on your grammar and punctuation to ensure your essay is more easily understood. Pay attention to sentence structure, verb tenses, and correct usage of articles (a, an, the).
general
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Your opinion

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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