Smoking is a major cause of serious illness and death throughout the world today. In the interest of the public health, goverentments should ban cigarettes and other tobacco products To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, smoking is
global
Add an article
a global

The noun phrase global problem seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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problem in the world and
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

is very unhealthy for
Correct article usage
the humans'

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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humans'
Change noun form
humans

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies

It seems that body may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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.Smoking is a vital issue of sickness and
dangerous
Correct article usage
a dangerous

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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illness now.
Besides
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
ministry
Correct article usage
the ministry

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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ought to forbid cigarettes and baccy goods.In the following statement, governments should ban tobacco
produces
Replace the word
products

The word produces doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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and we will not use cigarettes. On the one hand, I partly agree. There are several good points
smoking
Change preposition
about smoking

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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cigarettes. It can be resistant to
brain's
Change noun form
brain

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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cancer
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

other serious
illness
Fix the agreement mistake
illnesses

It seems that illness may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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. The prime example of how
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

scheme
work
Change the verb form
works

The plural verb work does not appear to agree with the singular subject this scheme. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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my
Add a missing verb
is my

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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uncle. He
is
Verb problem
has

There may be a verb use issue here.

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cancer
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and he has been suffering for 4 years. Because of
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, smoking cigars for him become
daily
Correct article usage
a daily

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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usage of
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products

It seems that product may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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and
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

habit
decrease
Change the verb form
decreases

The verb decrease does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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to increase
the
Change the article
apply

It appears that the phrase cancer does not contain the correct article usage. Consider making a change.

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cancer
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, my uncle takes
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

advice from
exprerienced
Correct your spelling
experienced

If you don’t want exprerienced to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

doctors.
Nonetheless
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, smoking tobacco
is do
Wrong verb form
does

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb is do. Consider changing it.

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not stop
develop
Wrong verb form
developing

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb develop. Consider changing it.

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cancer
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

only
reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces

It seems that the verb reduce does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

this illnesses
Change the determiner
this illness
these illnesses

It appears that the singular demonstrative this is modifying the plural noun illnesses. Consider using a plural demonstrative or a singular noun instead.

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.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,I partly disagree. Nicotine is very
dangeruos
Correct your spelling
dangerous

If you don’t want dangeruos to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

for people's
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies

It seems that body may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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. Smoking causes
cancer
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, heart disease, stroke, lung
diseases
Fix the agreement mistake
disease

It seems that diseases may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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, diabetes,chronic obstructive pulmonary disease,
insomnia
Correct word choice
and insomnia

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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. Sometimes nicotine
decrease
Change the verb form
decreases

The plural verb decrease does not appear to agree with the singular subject nicotine. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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memory. In fact,every year,more than 480000 people die in the United States
America
Change preposition
of America

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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,
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,tobacco-related diseases around 1 in 5 of all deaths
according to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the American
Cancer
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Society.
Linking Words
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

Also
Add a comma
Also,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase Also. Consider adding a comma.

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smoking can increase the likelihood of having a stroke by 2-4 times. Strokes can cause brain damage and death.
To sum up
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, there are
much
Rephrase
more

There may be an adverb issue here.

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bad points than good points. So, I disagree.
In addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

to
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
, nicotine reduces
cancer
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

,
however
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, its drawbacks
a
Add a missing verb
are a

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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lot and we must
do
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb do appears to be unnecessary here.

show examples
not use tobacco products.

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task achievement
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, where you state your position on the topic. The body paragraphs should develop your argument with clear main ideas and examples. A conclusion should summarise your argument and restate your position.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence by using clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to outline the main idea. Use linking words to connect ideas within and between sentences more effectively (furthermore, however, thus).
task achievement
When giving examples to support your points, make sure they are directly relevant and clearly explained. Avoid contradictory statements unless you are presenting a counter-argument, in which case it should be clearly stated and refuted.
coherence cohesion
Review basic grammar rules and punctuation to avoid common mistakes that hinder understanding. Vary your sentence structure to make your writing more engaging and to demonstrate your linguistic capability.
task achievement
Revisit the essay prompt to ensure you are fully addressing the question. Outline your essay before writing to help structure your thoughts and arguments clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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