IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Smoking is a major cause of serious illness and death throughout the world today. In the interest of the public health, goverentments should ban cigarettes and other tobacco products To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, smoking is
global
Add an article
a global
show examples
 problem in the world and
this
Linking Words
 is very unhealthy for
Correct article usage
the humans'
show examples
humans'
Change noun form
humans
show examples
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
show examples
.Smoking is a vital issue of sickness and
dangerous
Correct article usage
a dangerous
show examples
 illness now.
Besides
Linking Words
,
ministry
Correct article usage
the ministry
show examples
 ought to forbid cigarettes and baccy goods.In the following statement, governments should ban tobacco
produces
Replace the word
products
show examples
 and we will not use cigarettes. On the one hand, I partly agree. There are several good points
smoking
Change preposition
about smoking
show examples
 cigarettes. It can be resistant to
brain's
Change noun form
brain
show examples
cancer
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 other serious
illness
Fix the agreement mistake
illnesses
show examples
. The prime example of how
this
Linking Words
 scheme
work
Change the verb form
works
show examples
my
Add a missing verb
is my
show examples
 uncle. He
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
cancer
Use synonyms
 and he has been suffering for 4 years. Because of
this
Linking Words
, smoking cigars for him become
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
show examples
 usage of
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
 and
this
Linking Words
 habit
decrease
Change the verb form
decreases
show examples
 to increase
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
cancer
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, my uncle takes
this
Linking Words
 advice from
exprerienced
Correct your spelling
experienced
 doctors.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, smoking tobacco
is do
Wrong verb form
does
show examples
 not stop
develop
Wrong verb form
developing
show examples
cancer
Use synonyms
 only
reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
show examples
Linking Words
this illnesses
Change the determiner
this illness
these illnesses
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,I partly disagree. Nicotine is very
dangeruos
Correct your spelling
dangerous
 for people's
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
show examples
. Smoking causes
cancer
Use synonyms
, heart disease, stroke, lung
diseases
Fix the agreement mistake
disease
show examples
, diabetes,chronic obstructive pulmonary disease,
insomnia
Correct word choice
and insomnia
show examples
. Sometimes nicotine
decrease
Change the verb form
decreases
show examples
 memory. In fact,every year,more than 480000 people die in the United States
America
Change preposition
of America
show examples
,
due to
Linking Words
,tobacco-related diseases around 1 in 5 of all deaths
according to
Linking Words
 the American
Cancer
Use synonyms
 Society.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 smoking can increase the likelihood of having a stroke by 2-4 times. Strokes can cause brain damage and death.
To sum up
Linking Words
, there are
much
Rephrase
more
show examples
 bad points than good points. So, I disagree.
In addition
Linking Words
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, nicotine reduces
cancer
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
, its drawbacks
a
Add a missing verb
are a
show examples
lot and we must
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not use tobacco products.

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task achievement
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, where you state your position on the topic. The body paragraphs should develop your argument with clear main ideas and examples. A conclusion should summarise your argument and restate your position.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence by using clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to outline the main idea. Use linking words to connect ideas within and between sentences more effectively (furthermore, however, thus).
task achievement
When giving examples to support your points, make sure they are directly relevant and clearly explained. Avoid contradictory statements unless you are presenting a counter-argument, in which case it should be clearly stated and refuted.
coherence cohesion
Review basic grammar rules and punctuation to avoid common mistakes that hinder understanding. Vary your sentence structure to make your writing more engaging and to demonstrate your linguistic capability.
task achievement
Revisit the essay prompt to ensure you are fully addressing the question. Outline your essay before writing to help structure your thoughts and arguments clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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