Smoking is a major cause of serious illness and death throughout the world today. In the interest of the public health, goverentments should ban cigarettes and other tobacco products To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#illness #death #world #interest #health #goverentments #ban #cigarettes #tobacco #products

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Nowadays, smoking is

global

Add an article

a global

show examples

problem in the world and

this

is very unhealthy for

Correct article usage

the humans'

show examples

humans'

Change noun form

humans

show examples

body

Fix the agreement mistake

bodies

show examples

.Smoking is a vital issue of sickness and

dangerous

Correct article usage

a dangerous

show examples

illness now.

Besides

ministry

Correct article usage

the ministry

show examples

ought to forbid cigarettes and baccy goods.In the following statement, governments should ban tobacco

produces

Replace the word

products

show examples

and we will not use cigarettes. On the one hand, I partly agree. There are several good points

smoking

Change preposition

about smoking

show examples

cigarettes. It can be resistant to

brain's

Change noun form

brain

show examples

cancer

also

other serious

illness

Fix the agreement mistake

illnesses

show examples

. The prime example of how

this

scheme

work

Change the verb form

works

show examples

Add a missing verb

is my

show examples

uncle. He

Verb problem

has

show examples

cancer

and he has been suffering for 4 years. Because of

this

, smoking cigars for him become

daily

Correct article usage

a daily

show examples

usage of

product

Fix the agreement mistake

products

show examples

and

this

habit

decrease

Change the verb form

decreases

show examples

to increase

the

Change the article

apply

show examples

cancer

Moreover

, my uncle takes

this

advice from

exprerienced

Correct your spelling

experienced

doctors.

Nonetheless

, smoking tobacco

is do

Wrong verb form

does

show examples

not stop

develop

Wrong verb form

developing

show examples

cancer

only

reduce

Correct subject-verb agreement

reduces

show examples

this illnesses

Change the determiner

this illness

these illnesses

show examples

On the other hand

,I partly disagree. Nicotine is very

dangeruos

Correct your spelling

dangerous

for people's

body

Fix the agreement mistake

bodies

show examples

. Smoking causes

cancer

, heart disease, stroke, lung

diseases

Fix the agreement mistake

disease

show examples

, diabetes,chronic obstructive pulmonary disease,

insomnia

Correct word choice

and insomnia

show examples

. Sometimes nicotine

decrease

Change the verb form

decreases

show examples

memory. In fact,every year,more than 480000 people die in the United States

America

Change preposition

of America

show examples

due to

,tobacco-related diseases around 1 in 5 of all deaths

according to

the American

Cancer

Society.

Also

Add a comma

Also,

show examples

smoking can increase the likelihood of having a stroke by 2-4 times. Strokes can cause brain damage and death.

To sum up

, there are

much

Rephrase

show examples

bad points than good points. So, I disagree.

In addition

Change preposition

apply

show examples

, nicotine reduces

cancer

however

, its drawbacks

Add a missing verb

are a

show examples

lot and we must

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

not use tobacco products.

Submitted by Shaxnoza on Mon Mar 18 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, where you state your position on the topic. The body paragraphs should develop your argument with clear main ideas and examples. A conclusion should summarise your argument and restate your position.

coherence cohesion

Improve coherence by using clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to outline the main idea. Use linking words to connect ideas within and between sentences more effectively (furthermore, however, thus).

task achievement

When giving examples to support your points, make sure they are directly relevant and clearly explained. Avoid contradictory statements unless you are presenting a counter-argument, in which case it should be clearly stated and refuted.

coherence cohesion

Review basic grammar rules and punctuation to avoid common mistakes that hinder understanding. Vary your sentence structure to make your writing more engaging and to demonstrate your linguistic capability.

task achievement

Revisit the essay prompt to ensure you are fully addressing the question. Outline your essay before writing to help structure your thoughts and arguments clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

247 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
some people believe that everyone has a right to have access to university education and that governments should make it free for all students no matter what financial background they have. To what extent do you agree or disagree ? Nhi
Not only family, university also is a extremely important place to form human personality and qualities. In my opinion, I strongly agree that goverments should create opportunities about tuition for all students to approach higher education without regardless of their social class.
7
band
Million of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that millions of dollars should spent on improving living standards instead of spent it on space research. This essay totally disagrees with that statement because this research would help enhance the environment and develop a space subject in the schools.
5
band
Mobile phone and the internet could have many benefits for old people. However, this age group uses technology the least. What are the benefits for old people of using mobile phones and the internet? How can we encourage them to use this new technology?
In the modern era, people’s life has completely changed through the development of technology. Despite the fact that young generations have truly adapted with technological transformation, the elderly have not embarked on being compatible with the Internet and mobiles which have a host of benefits for their lives. The pros of them and some practical solution will be elaborated and proposed in this essay to extend them in all life’s periods.
6
band
A museum near your home is looking for people to do part-time voluntary/ unpaid work. You would like to do some voluntary/unpaid work at the museum. Write a letter to the museum director to apply for the voluntary/unpaid work. In your letter: * explain why you want to do voluntary/unpaid work at the museum * describe some skills and qualities you have that would be useful * give details of when you would be available for work
I writing this letter to you because I found in our local shop your advertisement for a voluntary job such as security or waiter. My name is Kim and I cover the local community and protect businesses in our suburb. Due to this situation, I would like to support by me and help to solve this problem.
6.5
band
Some people think that marketing and advertising is useless because people buy their products from some shops which have good quality of services and products. Do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, it is true that a number of individuals believe that promotion and PR are ineffective, due to the fact that individuals tend to purchase things from stores which include high-quality offerings and goods. Personally, I particularly agree that marketing would not give any assistance to people who already know what they need to acquire.

Smoking is a major cause of serious illness and death throughout the world today. In the interest of the public health, goverentments should ban cigarettes and other tobacco products To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

some people believe that everyone has a right to have access to university education and that governments should make it free for all students no matter what financial background they have. To what extent do you agree or disagree ? Nhi

Million of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree?

Mobile phone and the internet could have many benefits for old people. However, this age group uses technology the least. What are the benefits for old people of using mobile phones and the internet? How can we encourage them to use this new technology?

Some people think that marketing and advertising is useless because people buy their products from some shops which have good quality of services and products. Do you agree or disagree?