Smoking is a major cause of serious illness and death throughout the world today. In the interest of the public health, goverentments should ban cigarettes and other tobacco products To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, smoking is
global
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a global
show examples
problem in the world and
this
is very unhealthy for
Correct article usage
the humans'
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humans'
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humans
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body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
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.Smoking is a vital issue of sickness and
dangerous
Correct article usage
a dangerous
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illness now.
Besides
,
ministry
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the ministry
show examples
ought to forbid cigarettes and baccy goods.In the following statement, governments should ban tobacco
produces
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products
show examples
and we will not use cigarettes. On the one hand, I partly agree. There are several good points
smoking
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about smoking
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cigarettes. It can be resistant to
brain's
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brain
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cancer
also
other serious
illness
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illnesses
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. The prime example of how
this
scheme
work
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works
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my
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is my
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uncle. He
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
cancer
and he has been suffering for 4 years. Because of
this
, smoking cigars for him become
daily
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a daily
show examples
usage of
product
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products
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and
this
habit
decrease
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decreases
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to increase
the
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apply
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cancer
.
Moreover
, my uncle takes
this
advice from
exprerienced
Correct your spelling
experienced
doctors.
Nonetheless
, smoking tobacco
is do
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does
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not stop
develop
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developing
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cancer
only
reduce
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reduces
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this illnesses
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this illness
these illnesses
show examples
.
On the other hand
,I partly disagree. Nicotine is very
dangeruos
Correct your spelling
dangerous
for people's
body
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bodies
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. Smoking causes
cancer
, heart disease, stroke, lung
diseases
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disease
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, diabetes,chronic obstructive pulmonary disease,
insomnia
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and insomnia
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. Sometimes nicotine
decrease
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decreases
show examples
memory. In fact,every year,more than 480000 people die in the United States
America
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of America
show examples
,
due to
,tobacco-related diseases around 1 in 5 of all deaths
according to
the American
Cancer
Society.
Also
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Also,
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smoking can increase the likelihood of having a stroke by 2-4 times. Strokes can cause brain damage and death.
To sum up
, there are
much
Rephrase
more
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bad points than good points. So, I disagree.
In addition
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, nicotine reduces
cancer
,
however
, its drawbacks
a
Add a missing verb
are a
show examples
lot and we must
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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not use tobacco products.
Submitted by Shaxnoza on

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task achievement
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, where you state your position on the topic. The body paragraphs should develop your argument with clear main ideas and examples. A conclusion should summarise your argument and restate your position.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence by using clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to outline the main idea. Use linking words to connect ideas within and between sentences more effectively (furthermore, however, thus).
task achievement
When giving examples to support your points, make sure they are directly relevant and clearly explained. Avoid contradictory statements unless you are presenting a counter-argument, in which case it should be clearly stated and refuted.
coherence cohesion
Review basic grammar rules and punctuation to avoid common mistakes that hinder understanding. Vary your sentence structure to make your writing more engaging and to demonstrate your linguistic capability.
task achievement
Revisit the essay prompt to ensure you are fully addressing the question. Outline your essay before writing to help structure your thoughts and arguments clearly.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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