smoking is a major cause of serious illness and death throughout the wprld today. In the interest of the public health, governments should ban cigarettes and other tobacco products. Do you agree or disagree?

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There is no doubt that people have their own freedom to choose what is right for themselves
although
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knowing the risk or harm that will do to them
such
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as smoking.Nowadays smoking is known as causing a lot of illness and death to the globe.In my perspective ,I
totaly
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totally
agree with the statement and I will discuss
in
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it in
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detail
on
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in
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the next paragraph.
To begin
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with ,one of the
concern
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concerns
show examples
activitity of
the
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apply
show examples
smoking is
bringing
Verb problem
that it is
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harmful to both
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smoker
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smokers
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and secondhand
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smoker's
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smokers'
show examples
Use synonyms
health-being
Correct your spelling
health
show examples
.
Tabbaco
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Tobacco
contains a chemical called nicotine and nicotine is
addictive
Correct article usage
an addictive
show examples
subtances
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substances
that can lead to a person to become addicted and slowly caused diseases
such
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as heart problems and lung cancer.
For example
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,a secondhand
smoker
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when
breathe
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breathing
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in smoke that
breathed
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is breathed
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out by the
smoker
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also
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shows
by
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apply
show examples
a
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apply
show examples
data that will have the same level of
health
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risk
of
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as
show examples
the
smoker
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.Next ,
environment
Replace the word
environmental
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pollutions
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pollution
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such
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as air and waste pollution
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
also
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very
seriuos
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serious
consequences to the public because
this
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causes
uncomfortable
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an uncomfortable
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smell and
clog
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clogs
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to water system if littering
happen
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happens
show examples
.
Finally
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,the cost of
health
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care systems will be increased
due to
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the rise of the
health
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isuess
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issues
.
For instance
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,a healthy person will only
visits
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visit
show examples
hospital
Correct article usage
a hospital
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or clinic once a year compared to
unhealthy
Add an article
an unhealthy
show examples
person.
In contrast
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,the impacts of the banning will
effect
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affect
show examples
on
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apply
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the government because the
gorvenment
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government
earns high taxes paid from the
tabacco
Correct your spelling
tobacco
manufactures
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manufacturers
show examples
and
this
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would lead to less revenue for the
gorvenment
Correct your spelling
government
. In conclusion,the phenomenon of
this
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have more merits
far
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that far
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outweigh demerits , especially considering the concern
of
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for
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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public
health
Use synonyms
,
although
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the
gorvenment
Correct your spelling
government
will lose
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
revenues.
Therefore
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, I strongly agree with the trend that
tabacco
Correct your spelling
tobacco
products should be banned.
Submitted by tifjong on

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coherence cohesion
To increase coherence and cohesion, ensure a more logical flow of ideas between paragraphs. Use transitional words and phrases to connect sentences and paragraphs smoothly.
task achievement
For each main point, include specific examples or data to support your argument. This strengthens your essay and makes your ideas more convincing.
task achievement
Address both sides of the argument comprehensively but ensure to reiterate your stance clearly in the conclusion to emphasize your agreement or disagreement.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to spelling and grammar to ensure clarity and professionalism in your writing. Errors can distract readers and detract from your message.
coherence cohesion
Consider developing paragraphs with a clear topic sentence, followed by explanation, evidence, and a concluding sentence. This structure helps readers follow your logic and improves coherence.
task achievement
Expand on the implications of your points, such as the societal and economic consequences, to deepen the analysis in your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Public health
  • Tobacco products
  • Ban (noun and verb)
  • Regulation
  • Legislation
  • Consequences
  • Addiction
  • Preventative measures
  • Healthcare costs
  • Economic impact
  • Awareness campaigns
  • Tobacco industry
  • Nicotine dependency
  • Second-hand smoke
  • Detrimental effects
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