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Writing Samples
Band 6

The diagrams below show the life cycle of the silkworm and the stages in the production of silk cloth. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams below show the life cycle of the silkworm and the stages in the production of silk cloth. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given process diagram illustrates two processes. First of
all
Add a comma
all,
show examples
 it demonstrates the life cycle of a
silk
Use synonyms
 worn and
then
Linking Words
 various levels done for the production of
clothes
Use synonyms
 made from
silk
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, 10-12 weeks are required for the life cycle of
silk
Use synonyms
 worn and it consists of four stages .
Further
Linking Words
, five
process
Change to a plural noun
processes
show examples
 take place in the making of
silk
Use synonyms
clothes
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
firstly
Linking Words
 a month lays eggs in a large amount and after 10 days , larvas
comes
Correct subject-verb agreement
come
show examples
 out of the eggs and
starts
Correct subject-verb agreement
start
show examples
 eating mulberry
leaf
Fix the agreement mistake
leaves
show examples
 as a source of food. Afterwards of 4-6 weeks , larvas produces
silk
Use synonyms
 thread in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
large
quantity
Fix the agreement mistake
quantities
show examples
.
Then
Linking Words
 , as 3-8 days
passes
Change the verb form
pass
show examples
 by the larvas make a cocoon in which they live and after 16 days they
becomes
Correct subject-verb agreement
become
show examples
 a mother and the life cycle of silkworm continues in
this
Linking Words
 way again and again
However
Linking Words
, for making
silk
Use synonyms
clothes
Use synonyms
 it is essential to select
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 quality
Change preposition
apply
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cocoon and boil it
Change preposition
in
show examples
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
 hot water.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the cocoon
gets
Verb problem
apply
show examples
unwind
Correct subject-verb agreement
unwinds
show examples
 as a single but large thread and its length would be 300-900 meters . Following these , many threads are twisted together or
weave
Wrong verb form
weaved
show examples
 together to make
silk
Use synonyms
 cloth
as well as
Linking Words
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
dyed in a container for producing different colours of
silk
Use synonyms
clothes
Use synonyms
.

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words silk, clothes with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Silkworm
  • Larva
  • Cocoon
  • Moth
  • Mulberry leaves
  • Caterpillar
  • Pupa stage
  • Silk thread
  • Cycle
  • Harvested cocoons
  • Boiled
  • Unwound
  • Spun
  • Woven
  • Dyeing
  • Silk cloth production
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