IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The diagrams below show the life cycle of the silkworm and the stages in the production of silk cloth. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams below show the life cycle of the silkworm and the stages in the production of silk cloth. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#diagrams #show #life #cycle #silkworm #stages #production #silk #cloth #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The given process diagram illustrates two processes. First of
all
Add a comma
all,
show examples
 it demonstrates the life cycle of a
silk
 worn and
then
 various levels done for the production of
clothes
 made from
silk
.
Overall
, 10-12 weeks are required for the life cycle of
silk
 worn and it consists of four stages .
Further
, five
process
Change to a plural noun
processes
show examples
 take place in the making of
silk
clothes
.
To begin
 with,
firstly
 a month lays eggs in a large amount and after 10 days , larvas
comes
Correct subject-verb agreement
come
show examples
 out of the eggs and
starts
Correct subject-verb agreement
start
show examples
 eating mulberry
leaf
Fix the agreement mistake
leaves
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 as a source of food. Afterwards of 4-6 weeks , larvas produces
silk
 thread in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
large
quantity
Fix the agreement mistake
quantities
show examples
.
Then
 , as 3-8 days
passes
Change the verb form
pass
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 by the larvas make a cocoon in which they live and after 16 days they
becomes
Correct subject-verb agreement
become
show examples
 a mother and the life cycle of silkworm continues in
this
 way again and again
However
, for making
silk
clothes
 it is essential to select
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 quality
Change preposition
apply
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
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cocoon and boil it
Change preposition
in
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into
Change preposition
in
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 hot water.
Furthermore
, the cocoon
gets
Verb problem
apply
show examples
unwind
Correct subject-verb agreement
unwinds
show examples
 as a single but large thread and its length would be 300-900 meters . Following these , many threads are twisted together or
weave
Wrong verb form
weaved
show examples
 together to make
silk
 cloth
as well as
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
dyed in a container for producing different colours of
silk
clothes
.
Submitted by akshayashvi07 on

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words silk, clothes with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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