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Writing Samples /
Band 1

Some people think that all university students should study Whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study Subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology.

#people #university #students #study #subjects #future #science #technology
The
given
Verb problem
apply
show examples
two tables illustrate information about
sales
 of Fairtrade-labelled coffee and bananas in 1999 and 2004 in five European countries.
Overall
, It can be seen that the
sales
 of coffee in Switzerland accounted
the
Change preposition
for the
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 highest amount of money in 1999.
In addition
,
sales
Correct article usage
the sales
show examples
bananas
Change preposition
of bananas
show examples
 in Switzerland
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 the highest which was 47
million
of
Change preposition
apply
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euros.
Furthermore
, For
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
, it was 1.5
million
of
Change preposition
apply
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euros
in
Correct word choice
apply
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in 1999
bit
Correct your spelling
but
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 it increased by 18.5
million
 which accounted
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
 biggest in 2004.
On the other hand
, Sweden’s sale of coffee was the lowest in given five countries which was 0.8
million
. For bananas, It is shown that the
sales
 of Belguin
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
 of
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 four countries which was 0,6 and
then
 it rose by 3.4
million
 in 2004.
Additionally
, It is obvious that those five countries’
sales
 all fluctuated in both 1999 and 2004.
Submitted by buyabuya201 on

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Task response
Ensure that your essay addresses the proposed topic directly. Your response seems to be off-topic, as it discusses sales of Fairtrade-labelled coffee and bananas instead of university students' choice of study subjects.
Coherence and cohesion
Improve your essay's logical structure by clearly organizing ideas into paragraphs with distinct themes. Start with an introduction that presents the topic, followed by body paragraphs that discuss each viewpoint with examples, and conclude with a summary of your perspective.
Coherence and cohesion
Enhance cohesion by using a variety of linking words and phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs more smoothly, ensuring that your essay flows logically from one point to the next.
Task response
Clarify and elaborate on your ideas by providing specific examples and explanations to support each main point, making your argument more persuasive and comprehensive.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • foster
  • engagement
  • excel
  • innovative contributions
  • diversity in research
  • well-rounded education
  • broad perspectives
  • critical thinking skills
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • forced academic paths
  • job-ready
  • skills shortages
  • tech-driven economy
  • employment rates
  • changing job market
  • utilitarian subjects
  • aptitudes
  • wasting talent
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