Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In modern days, education is related to people's
future
. Some people believe that all university
students
should
study
subject
Correct article usage
the subject
show examples
which they want, at the same time, others believe that they should be accepted to
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
which will be helpful in the
future
. In
this
essay, I will discuss both these viewpoints and give my opinion.
To begin
with, studying science and technology during the third-level education makes
students
able to easily find a job that pays high wages.
This
is to say, working in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern workplaces requires up-to-date technological information aiming to improve the quality of work and to compete with others, and, in turn, those employees will earn good
remunaration
Correct your spelling
remuneration
.
For instance
, many IT graduates from the University of Toronto were able to have high positions and good wages in
man
Correct your spelling
many
show examples
renowned business companies.
However
, I think that the passion for what
students
study
is more important than how much earnings are in the
future
.
On the other hand
, it is very
improtant
Correct your spelling
important
for
unversity
Correct your spelling
university
students
to
study
the subjects they like because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
is the reason behind a successful career.
That is
because the love for
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
particular subjects allows them to go beyond
ther
Correct your spelling
their
limits, be creative, and be eager to improve, and,
thus
, they might be promoted. A good example of
this
would be, many well-known musicians
decided
Correct pronoun usage
who decided
show examples
to
study
music because they were passionate about it and
this
positive spirit
helps
Wrong verb form
helped
show examples
them climb their professional ladder.
To sum up
, despite the fact that a course in science and technology can provide postgraduates with a good
future
career and enough income, in my view, studying whatever they prefer is better because
this
leads to success in their field.
Submitted by buyabuya201 on

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Examples
Work on integrating more varied and specific examples to support your arguments. While the provided example of IT graduates from the University of Toronto is impactful, including diverse examples can enrich your essay.
Grammar & Spelling
Be careful with spelling and minor grammatical errors, as they can slightly detract from the overall clarity of your essay. For instance, "improtant" should be "important", "unversity" should be "university", and "remunaration" should be "remuneration".
Depth of Argument
Consider developing your counterargument further. You've made a strong case for following passion, but elaborating on potential challenges and how they can be overcome could provide a more balanced view.
Understanding & Opinion
The essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic, and you've effectively discussed both views before giving your own reasoned opinion, which is fundamental for a high score in Task Achievement.
Structure
Your essay has a clear structure, with a defined introduction, body paragraphs for each view, and a conclusion, contributing positively to your Coherence and Cohesion score.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • foster
  • engagement
  • excel
  • innovative contributions
  • diversity in research
  • well-rounded education
  • broad perspectives
  • critical thinking skills
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • forced academic paths
  • job-ready
  • skills shortages
  • tech-driven economy
  • employment rates
  • changing job market
  • utilitarian subjects
  • aptitudes
  • wasting talent
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