the chart shows the percentage of males and females who were overweight in Australia from 1980 and 2010

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The provided graph compares the proportion of men and women who suffered from obesity in Australia in four

years

Use synonyms

. Unit is measured in

percentage

Use synonyms

Overall

Linking Words

it is clear that

Linking Words

the

percentage

Use synonyms

of males dominated in all given

years

Use synonyms

On the other hand

Linking Words

, the

percentage

Use synonyms

of females who suffered from obesity gradually rose and in the

last

Linking Words

two

years

Use synonyms

peaked approximately the same .

Additionally

Linking Words

, the proportion of overweighed people in 1980 remained the lowest point.

According to

Linking Words

the table, the figure for females in 1980 showed the minimum per cent at just above 30%,

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

had modestly gone up to almost

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

half. In the

last

Linking Words

two

years

Use synonyms

(2000 and 2010) the

percentage

Use synonyms

of overweight

among

Change preposition

apply

show examples

women came top

Change preposition

show examples

the table at approximately 52%.

In contrast

Linking Words

, there was 40% of overweighed men in the first given year, it gradually rose to just 50% in the next period.

However

Linking Words

, the figure for males who were overweight climbed to the highest point at about 65% in 2000.

Whereas

Linking Words

, it slightly declined by 5 per cent in the

last

Linking Words

year.

ina1_95Thu Mar 21 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words years, percentage with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.

▼

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

179 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Global warming is one of the biggest threats humans face in the 21st Century, and sea levels continue to rise at alarming rates. What problems are associated with this, and what are some possible solutions?
Nowadays , There is no doubt global warming is a major issue among human beings even though sea levels also rising its alarming rates but still global warming increasing day by day. In this essay , I will discuss the problem of global warming and I will conclude with some solutions to control.
5
band
Children have more and more tests and exams to do at school, sometimes starting from the age of five or six, right up until the age of 18. What are the advantages and disadvantages of making children do exam ?
In many schools, students are examined by tests and exams from pupils who are about 5 or six until senior high school and they have to just surround themselves with books and consume much time for studying for getting a good score. Children are involved with a pile of tests and exams in the period of school time that start at ages 5 and keep going to 18. In this essay , I will explore the pros and cons of testing children from the early to advances ages at school.
6.5
band
Some people think that children should only read academic books. Others believe that reading books for pleasure is equally important. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Reading is an essential habit for children. While some argue that children should solely focus on their school subjects, others also emphasize the significance of reading for entertainment. I believe kids should be exposed to a variety of books that will help develop creativity and independent thinking.
5
band
Some people believe that the environmental impacts of air transport outweigh its benefits in food importation. To what extent do you agree? Provide reasons for your answer and include relevant examples.
A considerable number of people think incresed use of air transport to import fruits and vegetables from one nation to another where habitation is not good to grow such vegetation is a good option while others opine that it is a bad idea. According to me, it is a good idea to import vegetables to other countries will provide global trade their people have the excess nutrition that they need but it has a bad impact on local marketing and the environment.
4.5
band
These days, more and more people are going to other countries for significant periods of time, either to find a job or to study. There are clearly many benefits to doing this, but people who live abroad can also face some difficulties. Discuss tge advantages and disadvantages of living and working in a foreign country.
There is no denying the fact that, some people decide to move to other countries for apply to study or job. while it is commonly help belief that there are many advantageous to doing this. there is also an arguments that, some people think this situation very hard. this essay will analyse this topic from both point of view and express my opinion.

the chart shows the percentage of males and females who were overweight in Australia from 1980 and 2010

Global warming is one of the biggest threats humans face in the 21st Century, and sea levels continue to rise at alarming rates. What problems are associated with this, and what are some possible solutions?

Children have more and more tests and exams to do at school, sometimes starting from the age of five or six, right up until the age of 18. What are the advantages and disadvantages of making children do exam ?

Some people think that children should only read academic books. Others believe that reading books for pleasure is equally important. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that the environmental impacts of air transport outweigh its benefits in food importation. To what extent do you agree? Provide reasons for your answer and include relevant examples.