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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The diagrams below show the life cycle of a specie of large fish called the salmon. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparisons where relavant.

The diagrams below show the life cycle of a specie of large fish called the salmon. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparisons where relavant.
#diagrams #show #life #cycle #fish #salmon #summarise #information #features #comparisons #relavant
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the diagrams show the how
raising up
Verb problem
rise
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 and life cycle of a species of large
fish
Use synonyms
 called the
salmon
Use synonyms
.
Add a missing verb
is.
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overall
Linking Words
, fry is the smallest type of
fish
Use synonyms
, it is only 3-8 cm. Smolt is
middle
Correct article usage
the middle
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 one type of. Adult
salmon
Use synonyms
 is the biggest
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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type of
fish
Use synonyms
.
Fish
Use synonyms
’s life cycle is very slow. Between fry to adult
salmon
Use synonyms
 spend approximately five years. Looking at the details, the first stage is
salmon
Use synonyms
 eggs
raise
Correct your spelling
rise
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 up
Linking Words
then
Correct word choice
and then
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 become small stones. Approximately 5-6 months
fish
Use synonyms
 is slow moving in
upper
Add an article
the upper
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 river. The second stage is approximately four years,fry is fast flowing in
lower
Add an article
the lower
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 river. The third stage is
Use synonyms
fish
Rephrase
when fish
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raise
Correct your spelling
rise
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 up
then
Linking Words
 they
changed
Wrong verb form
change
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which
Correct word choice
and
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 become big.
Submitted by buyabuya201 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 80%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words fish, salmon with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slow" was used 2 times.
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