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Band 4

Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? What are the effects on society?

#students #science #subjects #university #countries #effects #society
It is not undoubtedly that
science
play
Change the verb form
plays
show examples
 a vital role in society.
However
, in contemporary times, most
students
 become demotivation to take
science
 courses.
This
 issue certainly has many causes and impacts
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 communities.
Thus
,
this
 essay will look
of
Change preposition
at
show examples
 both reasons and results. Many pupils claim that learning
science
 is quite difficult to do because it needs critical thinking, high attention to detail and hard
working
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work
show examples
.
Science
 offers challenging
field
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
show examples
 to solve like complex
formula
Fix the agreement mistake
formulas
show examples
 in math
as well as
physic
Fix the agreement mistake
physics
show examples
. Owing to
this
 condition, they choose
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
subjects
 that offer
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 challenges and
easy
Correct article usage
an easy
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 way to
handle
Correct pronoun usage
handle them
show examples
.
Although
 it
also
 has its benefits for
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
,
students
 still prefer to avoid
science
. For
examples
Fix the agreement mistake
example
show examples
, arts
subjects
 (music, writing, drawing,
ect
Correct your spelling
etc.
) and social
subjects
 provide
convenient
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convenience
show examples
 for them.
It is clear that
recent
Change preposition
in recent
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 times
students
avoid
Wrong verb form
have avoided
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science
due to
 its complexity and choose
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
subjects
 to feel
relax
Wrong verb form
relaxed
show examples
 living their school life. Eventually, in the future, nations might
become
Verb problem
apply
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have less
reasearches
Correct your spelling
research
 and
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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fewer remarkable discoveries because it will be difficult to fill
science
 fields and
it
Correct pronoun usage
there
show examples
 will less of jobseekers.
In contrast
 to social fields,
it
Correct pronoun usage
there
show examples
 will
more
Add a missing verb
be more
show examples
 individuals to apply and
will
Correct pronoun usage
there will
show examples
have
Verb problem
be
show examples
 high competition among jobseekers. Both of
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 effects could be handled if they have strong personal brandings and equip their selves with soft skills. To sump up, most
students
 become demotivation to take
science
 courses because its
diffult
Correct your spelling
difficult
 tasks,
as a
result
Add the comma(s)
result,
show examples
 they prefer
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
social
subjects
 that
offers
Correct subject-verb agreement
offer
show examples
comfortable
Replace the word
comfort
show examples
 and
easier
Add a missing verb
are easier
show examples
.
Moreover
, they should have strong personalities and skills to handle the effects.
Submitted by innezgracias on

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task response
To improve your essay, focus on thoroughly understanding and addressing the question prompt. Your response sometimes veers off-topic or lacks depth in analysing the reasons and impacts of declining interest in science subjects. Consider brainstorming and outlining your essay before writing to ensure all aspects of the question are covered.
coherence and cohesion
Improve essay clarity and effectiveness by enhancing the logical flow of ideas. This can be achieved through the use of transition words (e.g., 'However,' 'Furthermore,' 'In contrast') and clear topic sentences for each paragraph that guide the reader through your argument.
task completion
Incorporate examples and evidence to support your points more robustly. Utilize specific instances, studies, or statistical data where possible to demonstrate your claims, adding depth and credibility to your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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