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Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

The infographics below show employment statistics for UK residents by English language proficiency in 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#infographics #show #employment #statistics #uk #residents #english #language #proficiency #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The given infographics illustrate the
employement
Correct your spelling
employment
 rates among UK citizens
according to
 their
English
 competency skills in 2013. It can be seen that men predominated the employment chances in all groups with
majority
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a majority
the majority
show examples
 of them
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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proficient in
English
Change the article
the English
show examples
 language.
In addition
, that skill eventually prevailed in the
occuppation
Correct your spelling
occupation
 selections that differed between each category. In 2013, there were 25.7 million British people who were employed with
age
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ages
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ranged
Wrong verb form
ranging
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 from 16 to 64 years old. Among them, almost 72% were native speakers with around
seven
Correct article usage
a seven
show examples
 per cent
of
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apply
show examples
disparity between men and women. Regarding the chosen occupation, people in
this
 category
deemed
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were deemed
show examples
 to work as
professional
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professionals
show examples
 or
technician
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technicians
show examples
, which accounted for 17,7% and 13,2%, respectively. Others, who acquired an intermediate level in
English
, dominated 65.4% of
Correct article usage
the workfield
show examples
workfield
Correct your spelling
work field
 with a pretty drastic discrepancy in the number of men and women for 14%. Based on their level of fluency, around 19% and 17% of them tend to work in elementary and professional fields.
On the other hand
, those who
not
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were not
show examples
 proficient in speaking
English
 already occupied almost half
work
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of work
show examples
 opportunities, and 68% of them were males. Regardless
the
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of the
show examples
 underperformed abilities in
English
, almost 40% of them chose
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
elementary-level jobs,
while
 21,1% preferred
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the skilled trades sector.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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task achievement
For task achievement, ensure that your response fully covers all aspects of the graph or infographics provided. It’s essential to describe all significant details and trends, make comparisons, and possibly speculate on reasons or implications where relevant to fully meet the task requirements. Try to expand your analysis by discussing all major elements presented in the data.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, you should focus on organizing your essay clearly with a recognizable structure (introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion). Use a variety of linking words and phrases to connect ideas smoothly and logically. Additionally, vary your sentence structures to enhance the readability and flow of your essay. These techniques will help your reader understand the relationship between your ideas more easily.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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