Some countries today have passed laws against smoking tobacco in public buildings such as offices and restaurants. Other countries have no intention of doing this. Consider the possible arguments on both sides of this debate, and reach your own conclusion on which side you favor.

In
this
day and age, there are plenty of people who consume
tobacco
, and they could have the benefit of some approval to smoke in some public places
such
as restaurants and offices.
Although
Correct word choice
However
show examples
, some nations are putting effort into not allowing
this
legislation to happen.
This
essay will discuss the debate and give a concluding view. On the one hand, those who support the idea of smoking in public simply
wants
Correct subject-verb agreement
want
show examples
to have
freedom
Add an article
the freedom
show examples
to do what they want.
Consumer
Fix the agreement mistake
Consumers
show examples
could insist that
tobacco
is their enjoyable habit, and every human being should have their own human
rights
Fix the agreement mistake
right
show examples
to do what
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
gives them pleasure
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
in workplaces, which makes them
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
have better output. For these
people
Add a comma
people,
show examples
tobacco
is the case.
For example
, the severe kingdom in Iran had given
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
permission to their nation to have freedom of smoking.
Furthermore
, proponents could cite that
tobacco
gives them the opportunity to concentrate better.
This
kind of drug
develop
Change the verb form
develops
show examples
such
calmness and relaxation that
taker
Correct article usage
the taker
show examples
could be in an adequate
situationship
Correct your spelling
situation
to think and work better in offices, which makes them
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
have a better output.
Overall
,
this
lawmaking amends the process of work for those who smoke. As an example, workers who can have their little competent thing
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
could regularly present in a satisfactory way.
However
,
opponent
Fix the agreement mistake
opponents
show examples
of smoking
tobacco
in specific
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
could claim that
this
action could endanger other’s state of health. When consumers of
tobacco
smoke in closed
room
Fix the agreement mistake
rooms
show examples
of eating
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
or working places, it seems that other attendees suffer from the smoky air, which
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can later cause lounge cancer.
For example
, 20% of
damage
Correct article usage
the damage
show examples
is belong
Change the verb form
belongs
show examples
to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
smokers and the other 80% to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people who
breath
Replace the word
breathe
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
poisoned air.
Moreover
, critics of
this
idea could cite that
this
unpleasant routine could show the city less aesthetic.
Beauty
Add an article
The beauty
show examples
of
town
Correct article usage
the town
show examples
should be saved
due to
the policy of tourists. When a state
does not have the attraction no
Rewrite the sentence
does not have the attraction any
has the attraction no
show examples
longer, it can damage
country’s
Correct article usage
the country’s
show examples
roll
Correct your spelling
role
show examples
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
the world. In
this
case
Add a comma
case,
show examples
opponents could say that smokers should be obliged to not do
this
troubled manner. Some Asian countries do not have a pretty look
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
other’s nationality
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
. In conclusion, I would side with the opponents of smoking
tobacco
in public places
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
show examples
restaurants and offices. It seems reasonable that
state
Correct article usage
the state
show examples
of health and beauty of
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
are more essential than enjoying and
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
a dangerous
freewill
Correct your spelling
free will
show examples
of smoking.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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structure
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The introduction should present the topic and your thesis statement clearly. The body paragraphs should each focus on a specific argument with examples, and the conclusion should summarize your stance effectively.
cohesion
Focus on enhancing your coherence by improving transitions between sentences and paragraphs. Try using linking phrases or words such as 'Furthermore,' 'In addition,' or 'On the contrary,' to lead the reader smoothly from one idea to the next.
content
To achieve a higher score in task achievement, aim to cover all parts of the task more thoroughly. Your essay should provide a balanced discussion of both sides and then clearly state your conclusion, supported by reasons and examples.
examples
Include more varied and specific examples to support your arguments. This not only strengthens your argument but also demonstrates your ability to apply your knowledge to real-world situations, which is crucial for a higher score in the task achievement criterion.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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