in spite of the many advances women have made in eduction and emplyment, they continue to be at a disadvantage when it comes to pay and promotion. in your view , what should be donr to promote equality of the opportunity for men and women in the workplace.

#spite #advances #women #eduction #emplyment #promotion #donr #equality #opportunity #men #workplace

the latest issue that

commonly

Add a missing verb

is commonly

show examples

found in our social life is about

gender

equality

. nowadays,

women

can pursue their dream

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show examples

education

and can be employers, but some of them

got

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get

show examples

harrassed by

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society because of when they got

pay

Wrong verb form

paid

show examples

and promoted. some people think that woman fate

are

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show examples

housewife

Fix the agreement mistake

housewives

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, even though they have

higher

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a higher

show examples

education

background

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backgrounds

show examples

this

dogma

was

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show examples

getting normalized in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society, because people argue that every job should be done by

man

Fix the agreement mistake

men

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

the other side,

gender

equality

in some sectors can

be give

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give

show examples

adventages

Correct your spelling

an advantage

women

for example

, they will get lighter

job

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jobs

show examples

than

man

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men

show examples

do, but in

education

gender

equality

are not really

showed

Wrong verb form

show

show examples

Correct article usage

a differencies

show examples

differencies

Correct your spelling

difference

, both

women

and

man

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men

show examples

have

same

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the same

show examples

oppurtunity in

education

, that means everybody is same.

however

, if we talk about

gender

equality

workplace

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the workplace

show examples

women

sometimes

achive

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achieve

lot

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a lot

show examples

of attention than

man

Fix the agreement mistake

men

show examples

, because

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apply

show examples

the employee sometimes

looking

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looks

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for beautiful

one

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ones

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and it can make

others

Correct quantifier usage

other

show examples

workers get

jealously

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jealous

show examples

, so

its

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

also

can be

harrasment

Correct your spelling

harassment

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show examples

the

women

that has attractive appearence.

in addition

, it can be unequal if they are promoted by their looks, it should be by their work hard. in conclusion, both

women

and

man

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men

show examples

should have

Correct article usage

the

show examples

same chance to be or to reach their dreams and

also

have

same

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the same

show examples

oppurtunity

Correct your spelling

opportunity

to get promoted, we need to change our mindset to reduce the

patriarcy

Correct your spelling

patriarchy

patriarch

Submitted by misstiasclassroom on Sun Mar 24 2024

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Structure

Make sure your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Your essay somewhat lacks a clear separation between these parts, making it hard to follow the progression of your argument.

Content

Provide specific examples and evidence to support your points. While you have mentioned some situations, more detailed examples would strengthen your argument.

Expression

Work on sentence structure and use of transitional phrases to improve the flow of your essay. This will help in making your essay more coherent.

Task Response

Consider revisiting the essay prompt and ensuring that all aspects are addressed comprehensively. Incorporate a balanced discussion of the issues, followed by specific suggestions or solutions.

Language

Pay attention to spelling, grammar, and punctuation to enhance your written expression. Mistakes in these areas could detract from the clarity of your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
39Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

229 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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in spite of the many advances women have made in eduction and emplyment, they continue to be at a disadvantage when it comes to pay and promotion. in your view , what should be donr to promote equality of the opportunity for men and women in the workplace.

Fully explain your ideas

Despite a variety of sport facilities and gyms, people are less fit nowadays than ever before. What do you think are the main causes of this problem? What solutions can you suggest?

Employers should give their staff at least four-weeks’ holiday a year to help employees get better at their jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think travelling abroad is a valuable experience for young people. Others think it wastes too much time and money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some areas of the US, a curfew is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this?

In some countries, even though the rates of serious crimes are decreasing, people feel less safe than ever before. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it?