The pie charts below show the proportions of visits to Ireland last year by age group, and by gender and type of visit

The pie chart one illustrates data regarding the percentage of people travelling to Ireland in terms of their age groups for
last
year,
whereas
the second one gives information about the gender of the visitors and why they visited
this
country.Units are measured in percentages.
Overall
,what stands out from the graphs is that the age of the largest percentage of people who arrived in İreland varied between 25-34 and 45-54.
Moreover
, most people came to Ireland for leisure,not business. Looking into detail,those whose age changed between 25-34 and 45-54 comprised the highest proportion with approximately one-fourth.The share of 35-44-year-old travellers ranked second with just under 20%
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
Other groups were less inclined to visit Ireland and they all together were responsible for about one-third. With regard to another chart,it is noticeable that leisure was the most contributing factor that attracts men and women to come to
this
country with 40% and 43% respectively.Meanwhile, 4% of females and 13% of males visited because of business.
Submitted by Name_1234 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: