The chart shows the percentage of women and men in one Asian country who passed when they took their driving test between 1980 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart shows the percentage of women and men in one Asian country who passed when they took their driving test between 1980 and 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart provides information about passed driving
Fix the agreement mistake
tests
show examples
test
Fix the agreement mistake
tests
show examples
in particular
Asian
Fix the agreement mistake
cities
show examples
city
Fix the agreement mistake
cities
show examples
for 30 years,
Wrong verb form
broken
show examples
break
Wrong verb form
broken
show examples
down into
men
and
women
.
Overall
, it can be seen that for
whole
Correct article usage
the whole
show examples
period
women's
Change noun form
women
show examples
always have
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
passed the
test
and have
been showing
Wrong verb form
shown
show examples
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
percentage of passing
istead
Correct your spelling
instead
of
men's
Change noun form
men
show examples
in that country.
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
in
1980
Add a comma
1980,
show examples
about 48% of the female
test
takers passed
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
driving
test
, which is
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
percentage
consider
Verb problem
compared
show examples
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
male's
Change noun form
males
show examples
with 29%,
this
means almost two times less than
women's
Change noun form
women
show examples
.
Furthermore
with
passing
Correct article usage
the passing
show examples
years adult
female's
Change noun form
females'
show examples
test
passing ability
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
rose slowly
where
Rephrase
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
shows
Wrong verb form
showing
show examples
about 51% and reached the
pick
Correct your spelling
peak
show examples
in 2000,
where
Correct word choice
when
show examples
about 69% of female
test
taker
Fix the agreement mistake
takers
show examples
passed the
test
at
this
time.
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
show examples
women's
Change noun form
women
show examples
who took the driving licence
test
in 2010
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
3-4% compared with
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
2000.
In
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
adult
men
's percentages rose steadily and
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
about 39% in 1990.
Moreover
from 2000 to 2010
men
's driving
test
passing ability
stay
Wrong verb form
stayed
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the same
poit
Correct your spelling
point
post
nearly 50%.
Submitted by yuzgeademova2001 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover".
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Replace the words test, men, women with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 5 times.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Percentage
  • Pass rate
  • Driving test
  • Trend
  • Increase
  • Decrease
  • Milestone
  • Comparison
  • Significant difference
  • Broad social changes
  • Policy changes
  • Surpass
  • Reflect
  • Implications
  • Disparity
  • Overall trends
  • Summarize
  • Statistical data
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