The pie charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008.
The charts demonstrate the proportion of the pie charts in both years , show the largest percentage for relaxing hours at home and working hours.
time
consumed by adult workers on various activities in one country between 1958 and 2008.
Use synonyms
Overall
, accordingLinking Words
Add the preposition
to
In contrast
, the lowest level is sleeping and spending Linking Words
time
with family or friends.
Regarding the pie charts in 1958 and 2008, the work represents the highest percentage (33% and 42%) , respectively . Use synonyms
This
is followed by sleeping forms ( 32% and 25%).
Linking Words
While
the Linking Words
time
spent with family or friends demonstrated 19% in 1958 compared to 2008 was dramatically decreased to only 6%.
Use synonyms
Similarly
, the Linking Words
time
of chill at home in 1958 was 8% Use synonyms
whereas
in 2008 rose sharply to 13%.
Linking Words
Moreover
, spending Linking Words
time
on other activities Use synonyms
such
as travel to work slightly rose from 2% in 1958 to 8% in 2008 Linking Words
wherea
Correct your spelling
whereas
the
playing sports was no significant change between 1958 and 2008.Correct article usage
apply
Submitted by jumanh114 on
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words time with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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