The pie charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008.

The pie charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008.
The charts demonstrate the proportion of
time
consumed by adult workers on various activities in one country between 1958 and 2008.
Overall
, according
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to
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the pie charts in both years , show the largest percentage for relaxing hours at home and working hours.
In contrast
, the lowest level is sleeping and spending
time
with family or friends. Regarding the pie charts in 1958 and 2008, the work represents the highest percentage (33% and 42%) , respectively .
This
is followed by sleeping forms ( 32% and 25%).
While
the
time
spent with family or friends demonstrated 19% in 1958 compared to 2008 was dramatically decreased to only 6%.
Similarly
, the
time
of chill at home in 1958 was 8%
whereas
in 2008 rose sharply to 13%.
Moreover
, spending
time
on other activities
such
as travel to work slightly rose from 2% in 1958 to 8% in 2008
wherea
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whereas
the
Correct article usage
apply
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playing sports was no significant change between 1958 and 2008.
Submitted by jumanh114 on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words time with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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