The pie charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008.

#show #percentage #time #adults #activities #country

The charts demonstrate the proportion of

time

consumed by adult workers on various activities in one country between 1958 and 2008.

Overall

, according

Add the preposition

show examples

the pie charts in both years , show the largest percentage for relaxing hours at home and working hours.

In contrast

, the lowest level is sleeping and spending

time

with family or friends. Regarding the pie charts in 1958 and 2008, the work represents the highest percentage (33% and 42%) , respectively .

This

is followed by sleeping forms ( 32% and 25%).

While

the

time

spent with family or friends demonstrated 19% in 1958 compared to 2008 was dramatically decreased to only 6%.

Similarly

, the

time

of chill at home in 1958 was 8%

whereas

in 2008 rose sharply to 13%.

Moreover

, spending

time

on other activities

such

as travel to work slightly rose from 2% in 1958 to 8% in 2008

wherea

Correct your spelling

whereas

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

playing sports was no significant change between 1958 and 2008.

Submitted by jumanh114 on Tue Mar 26 2024

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.

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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.

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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words time with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

157 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The pie charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some countries, it is possible to have a variety of food that has been transported from all over the world. To what extent do you think its benefits outweigh the drawbacks?

Online education is becoming increasingly popular. Many university students are choosing to study online instead of face to face. Do the advantages of distance education outwiegh the disadvantages?

Ambition is a positive quality for people to have in society today. How important is it for people who want to succeed in life? Is it a positive or negative characteristic?

Although the prices of fuels have greatly increased over the last decade or two, it is argued that further increases in fuel prices are the only way to reduce world consumption of fuel and lessen pressure on the world's fuel resources.