In recent years, there has been growing interest in the relationship between equality and personal achievement. Some people believe that individuals can achieve more in egalitarian societies. Others believe that high levels of personal achievement are possible only if individuals are free to succeed or fail according to their individual merits. What is your view of the relationship between equality and personal success?
#years #interest #relationship #equality #achievement #people #individuals #societies #levels #merits #success
The relationship between social equality and freedom path for personal
success
has always been an open-ended debate for Correct article usage
the publics
publics
. Fix the agreement mistake
public
While
I understand individual merits are important for personal success
, I am more inclined to the view that egalitarian societies are prerequisites for individual success
.
On the one hand, success
comes from mixed factors besides
personal talents, such
as social-economic
status and external support. All these factors have addressed the importance of access to Correct your spelling
socioeconomic
resources
. Without equal chance
accessing to Fix the agreement mistake
chances
resources
, such
as job opportunities and educational resources
, women would not achieve
Wrong verb form
have achieved
sheer
volume of Add an article
the sheer
a sheer
accomplishment
in recent decades. Fix the agreement mistake
accomplishments
For example
, one 18-year-old girl, who is the
Stanford undergraduate electrical Correct article usage
a
engineer
student and a founder of an AI start-up, has raised 1bn venture fund lately. She might not Replace the word
engineering
achievement
personal Replace the word
achieve
success
without being given the
equal chance Correct article usage
an
to
the top prestigious university in the world and a promised acknowledgement in the landscape, which used to be male-dominated. Obviously, Change preposition
at
Correct article usage
the gender
gender
equality concept instilled in the public is crucial for women’s Correct article usage
the gender
success
.
On the other hand
, I understand that critics hold the opinion that talents should have unlimited freedom to exert their abilities and should not be interfered by
external parties. One good example to refuse Change preposition
with by
this
argument is race or geographical discrimination. Elon Musk. who was born in South Africa, has talent in programming and later chose to immigrate to Canada pursuing futural potential growth. Although
he is smart, equal identity recognition and large
degree of acceptance Add an article
a large
the large
to
immigrants from society have Change preposition
of
play
an important part in his successful life journey.
In conclusion, personal merits are important to help people succeed but equal access to Change the verb form
played
resources
and a society with deeply
instilled Add an article
the deeply
a deeply
Fix the agreement mistake
values
value
of equalitarian Fix the agreement mistake
values
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
Fix the agreement mistake
prerequisites
prerequisite
for talents to exert their merits.Fix the agreement mistake
prerequisites
Submitted by erminelyu on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Be sure to clearly define your stance at the beginning of the essay and reiterate it in your conclusion for a stronger impact.
coherence and cohesion
Organize your ideas more logically by clearly dividing different arguments into separate paragraphs, using clear topic sentences at the beginning of each.
task achievement
To enhance your argument, it’s vital to delve deeper into analyzing how equality fosters an environment that facilitates personal achievements, rather than merely stating it.
coherence and cohesion
Enhance the cohesion of your essay by employing a wider range of linking words and phrases. This will help in smoothly connecting ideas and sections within your essay.