The diagram below shows how rain water is collected and then treated to be used as drinking water in an Australian town

The diagram below shows how rain water is collected and then treated to be used as drinking water in an Australian town
The provided process diagram explains the different stages of purifying rainwater in order to make it suitable for drinking in an Australian city.
Overall
, it is clear from the diagram that the process of filtering
water
consists of approximately seven steps. It begins with raining and ends with using the rainwater as drinking
water
.
Firstly
,after rain, the
water
goes through tubes under the floors to the drain, where it is collected. In the second stage, start filtering the
water
by using a filter that helps to purify the
water
from any impurities. After that, the
water
was sorted into a specific tank for treatment by adding some chemicals that help to safely maintain the
water
and prevent contamination with bacteria.
Finally
, the
water
is returned through the tubes to the houses to be safe and suitable for drinking and use for other purposes,
such
as cooking.
Submitted by jumanh114 on

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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words water with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "diagram" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
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