The diagram below shows how rain water is collected and then treated to be used as drinking water in an Australian town
The provided process diagram explains the different stages of purifying rainwater in order to make it suitable for drinking in an Australian city.
Overall
, it is clear from the diagram that the process of filtering water
consists of approximately seven steps. It begins with raining and ends with using the rainwater as drinking water
.
Firstly
,after rain, the water
goes through tubes under the floors to the drain, where it is collected.
In the second stage, start filtering the water
by using a filter that helps to purify the water
from any impurities.
After that, the water
was sorted into a specific tank for treatment by adding some chemicals that help to safely maintain the water
and prevent contamination with bacteria.
Finally
, the water
is returned through the tubes to the houses to be safe and suitable for drinking and use for other purposes, such
as cooking.Submitted by jumanh114 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words water with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "diagram" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
▼