Some people believe that professional athletes serve as positive role models for young people, while others argue that their behaviour both on and off the field, can have negative influences. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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In
comperorary
Correct word choice
the contemporary
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epoch, a part of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society
believe
Change the verb form
believes
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that professional
athletes
have positive effects on society as role models,
while
skeptics reckon that their
behaviour
can have
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
effect
on the
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
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of youngsters. I wholeheartedly agree that their
behaviour
on and off the field
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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poor
Add an article
a poor
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effect
on the
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
of youth if they act badly
anf
Change preposition
apply
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this
might
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
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their career as well.
To begin
with, the most prominent reason behind the first view is that they act as role models and young people
gets
Correct subject-verb agreement
get
show examples
motivation from them and they adhere
their
Change preposition
to their
show examples
foot steps
Correct your spelling
footsteps
show examples
.
Therefore
, it is necessary for them to endeavour to have a positive image in the society.
For instance
, players motivate the youth to avoid living a
sendatery
Correct your spelling
mandatory
lifestyle and opt for
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
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lifstyle
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
lifestyles
by joining GYM by adopting healthy eating habits.
Thus
,
this
is
positive
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the positive
a positive
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impression left by
athletes
on
Add an article
the mind
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mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
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of common people.
As per
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In
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my
viewpiont
Correct your spelling
opinion
, the income of
athletes
is
also
dependent on their
behaviour
because if they do not have
a
Correct article usage
apply
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respectful
behaviour
towards
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other humans off or on the
ground
,
then
they will not get work as their faces represent big branded products. If humans
will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
have hate for them in their hearts,
this
might lead to a downfall in the sale of the product
according
Correct word choice
and
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it is going to
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
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the
athletes
Change to a genitive case
athlete's
athletes'
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personal income level as well.
Thus
, they need to be relentlessly
carefull
Correct your spelling
careful
carefully
, unless the
repercurssions
Correct your spelling
repercussions
may be
distruptive
Correct your spelling
disruptive
.
Furthermore
, if the player
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
not show good
behaviour
on the
ground
during the game,
this
can
also
have cons on their professional career because it is immensely vital to have
cordination
Correct your spelling
coordination
with the team on the
ground
. Any
arogent
Correct your spelling
arrogant
agent
action shown by players will not only lead to
drop
Add an article
a drop
show examples
in their fan list, but it can
also
lead to an
end point
Correct your spelling
endpoint
show examples
to their professional career because lack of
coperation
Correct your spelling
cooperation
with other teammates
while
playing might lead to losing the match apparently.
To conclude
, as per the matrimonials mentioned above, there is no doubt that professional sports personalities act as positive role models but there are many drawbacks
is
Correct your spelling
if
show examples
they show any negative
behaviour
, whether on or off the
ground
and that can
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
them financially
as well as
they generate a sense of hate in the
mind
of their fans.
Submitted by ss6802125 on

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Enhance your essay's coherence by using a wider variety of linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas. This not only improves flow but also contributes to the overall cohesion of your text.
task achievement
While discussing both views and presenting your opinion, ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea, supported by specific examples or explanations. This structuring will improve your task achievement score by making your content more relevant and comprehensible.
task achievement
Incorporate more detailed and specific real-life examples to support your arguments. Specific examples add depth to your discussion, making your essay more persuasive and increasing the relevance of your points.
coherence cohesion
Consider refining your essay's conclusion by summarizing key points more effectively and reiterating your stance in a clear, compelling manner. This strengthens your argument and ensures a coherent wrap-up of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • role models
  • behaviour
  • field
  • positive influences
  • negative influences
  • hard work
  • dedication
  • discipline
  • determination
  • healthy lifestyle
  • fitness
  • perseverance
  • challenges
  • teamwork
  • collaboration
  • controversial behavior
  • substance abuse
  • legal issues
  • materialism
  • excessive spending
  • responsibility
  • accountability
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